I assume my wife’s spirit animal is a possum. When I ask for sex, she plays dead until I go away.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 5, 2013
You’re not bipolar. That requires mood swings. You’re a bitch 24/7.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 5, 2013
The only real disadvantage to a marriage between two men is their adopted kids would be unfairly immune to “yo momma” jokes.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 5, 2013
I LOVE the first post! LOL!