I forgot my phone when I went to the bathroom. I think that counts as camping.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 14, 2013
Yes, I know what I’m doing. I’m fucking up.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 14, 2013
There are two kinds of parents: Those who admit they make it up as they go along, and those who lie.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 14, 2013
I’m so tired of seeing undeserving employees move up the corporate ladder. I’m just as undeserving as they are. Promote me.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 14, 2013
If I were rich, I wouldn’t show off by hiring a chauffeur. I’d simply pay someone to give me a piggyback ride everywhere I went.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 14, 2013