There Is Cunnilingus Among Us

After a movie star asserted that his throat cancer might have been caused by oral sex the word cunnilingus has come to my attention. Cunnilingus refers to the act of oral sex performed on a woman. For the purpose of our discussion I will leave out the specific details of the stimulation process on the various parts of the female genitalia because, after all, the term oral sex by itself can leave a vulgar taste in the mouth for some.

Furthermore, my interest with the term has more to do with its pronounced sound than with its literal meaning. Cunnilingus just has a nice ring to it. You can hardly say the word without getting a smile on your face. The sound of the word is pleasantly equivocal.

For example, the term can exude sophistication. At any country club you could imagine someone asking, “Pardon me madam, may I interest you in a sample of cunnilingus?”

How about a name for a flower? There are calla lilies, gardenias, and chrysanthemums. Why not a big bouquet of cunnilingus in full bloom? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet or would it?

There is a song rumored to be about cunnilingus that says, “…kinda like sugar, kinda like spices…” So, why not have a seasoning? We could have basil, saffron, paprika, juniper berries, and cunnilingus powder.

Quite frankly and sadly the word also sounds like a disease. There could be a battery of tests for meningitis, mononucleosis, and cunnilingus. What kind of symptoms might that have? Burning mouth syndrome, maybe?

Although a term that combines Neo-Latin expressions for the vulva and the tongue was just too good to pass up, I have probably given enough linguistic lip service to cunnilingus. Sometimes you just have to know when to shut your mouth.