People think because I’m old and codgerly, I’m not up on current trends. But that’s not true. For Halloween, all the candy I gave out was crushed. See!
That’s not the scary part about this past Halloween. The scary part was seeing a guy standing at my door dressed all in black… carrying a sickle!
I said “I-I-I-I-I-I hope that’s a costume.”
No answer.
I said, “Th-th–th-at’s not a good idea, coming out to neighborhoods FULL of old people.”
Silence.
I said, “Where are you going next, to the NURSING home?”
Then a voice emitted – a deep, deep, very old voice: “CANDY.”
Apparently, the Grim Reaper has a sweet tooth.
So I gave him some candy. A lot of candy. Crushed candy.
He took it. Apparently he was going to crush it anyway. Great.
Then he spoke again “Do you have a WILL?”
I said “I’m working on one.”
Deep voice “GIT ‘ER DONE!”
Apparently, the Grim Reaper is a Larry the Cable Guy fan.
“Do you want to come in?” I tried to pull the words back into my mouth but it was too late.
He stepped in, told me he was a sports fan and was considering trying out for the NHL.
He said he wasn’t that great of a skater but NOBODY checks him.
I told him I’d write an article about him if he makes it to the league.
Then I gave him more candy.
And what kind of candy does the Grim Reaper get? Any kind he wants.
That is TOO FUNNY Stan! It’s not easy making The Bastard funny…you gave me a great laugh, thank you. I could see you at the door wetting the Depends. Again, too funny!
Gee, is that how to make the Grim Reaper go away? I didn’t know that!
Imagine getting hooked on the ice by a sickle-stick. Funny.