7 Worst College Football Bowl Names…

Logo of the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) aka the Grab-A-Wad-A-Cash Series

It’s no longer just the Rose Bowl, Cotton Bowl and Sugar Bowl.

Over the past few weeks and next few days, dozens of college football teams have and will play in almost as many bowl games – more than 30 in total, check out the list here.

The organization that oversees the bowl selection process each year is the Bowl Championship Series or BCS. Because football is a big revenue generator for colleges from corporate sponsorships, television contracts, ticket sales…etc., the BCS has incentive to expand the pie.

That partially explains why the cavalcade of college football bowls has been bloated to the seams as part of the money grab.

It also partially explains why there’s been such resistant over the years to implement a play-off system in college ball to name the best team annually. Unfortunately, that’s not what the system wants – the system doesn’t care which is the best team but only seems to care about maximizing profitability on the backs of amateur athletes.

As proof, here are some of the ridiculous, yet legitimate bowl names in this year’s college football race for cash:

-Beef O’Brady’s Bowl
-Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl
-Taxslayer.com Gator Bowl

In the spirit of farcical names, I’ve come up with a list of seven possible names for college football bowls that might be just as meaningful as some of the current names:

7. The Parole Bowl – this could be for all the players and coaches who violated NCAA rules in the past five years, it’s sure to include top talent from some top programs!

6. The Toilet Bowl – this could replace any number of the low-grade bowls currently in effect given the poor-level of play as a result of the dilution of talent and excessive number of bowls from the naming gold rush.

5. The Bowel Bowl – this is a companion bowl to the aforementioned toilet bowl, because there’s plenty of crappy post-season college football masquerading as quality play.

4. The Bowler Hat Bowl –  I know it’s a ridiculous name, but it’s no less silly than the Beef O’Brady’s Bowl or the Meineke Car Care Bowl, which are both current bowl games. What the heck is the BBVA Compass Bowl anyway???

3. The Cheerios Bowl or Frosted Flakes Bowl – how can the marketing genius at General Mills and Kellogg’s foods let this naming bonanza pass them by without leveraging the most logical bowl connection ever??? Cereal is perfect, can’t they see that?

2. The Droll Bowl – “droll” is defined as both “humorous and odd” which perfectly describes the BCS name-game for bowls; the Droll Bowl would be an acceptable replacement for virtually any current college bowl name.

1. The Laugh-A-Bowl – similarly, this could replace any of the current game names because the Bowl Championship Series  is such a joke.

Question: Your thoughts? What other lackluster bowl names am I missing?


Tor Constantino is a former journalist, bestselling author and current PR guy who lives near Washington, DC. He has worked for Fortune 500 companies, CBS Radio, Clear Channel Radio, ABC-TV and CBS-TV affiliates. He has authored his first non-fiction book “A Question of Faith”  and he blogs regularly at The Daily ReTORt.

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12 thoughts on “7 Worst College Football Bowl Names…”

  1. Maybe you could replace the toilet bowl with the Terri-bowl, maybe sponsored by a Terri towel company. Or the Audi Bowl, for audible plays only. The BCS is one of the reasons I prefer college basketball.

  2. Hmm.. How about the “M&M’s Candy Bowl”, they could print the tickets on bags of M&M’s, student tickets on Peanut M&M’s. 🙂

  3. I see you had Toilet Bowl. LOL How about Potato Chip Bowl or for those in the Pittsburgh and W.VA area, the Coal Bowl? Religious schools could have the Soul Bowl? This was a fun one Tor!!

    1. Love the Chip Bowl from the region that produces Wise Potato Chips and the Coal Bowl for our strip-mining brothers in the Mountain State.

      Just so you know, I snorted communion wine out of my nose when I read the Soul Bowl!!!

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