Love Bites

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth I can sink my teeth into your new girl friend’s earlobe.

My soul can become dark when feeling slighted by your rejection and the feeling of being graceful has left my mortal body.

I stand guilty of demoralizing Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s tribute to love but clearly there is another side of love that has adverse consequences when love sent is not returned in kind.

Take for the example the rejected lover described in my local newspaper’s “Crime Blotter” section this morning.

Police arrested a woman early Friday after she allegedly bit off a piece of the ear of the woman who replaced her in her ex-boyfriend’s affections.

According to a police report, someone called 911 at about 1:40 a.m. to report [an act] of violence … [Police] found two injured people and the suspect, who was still at the apartment   … where the incident was supposed to have occurred.

Two men said they are roommates at the apartment. They went to a Denton bar to play poker and one of the men’s former girlfriends showed up. When they left, she followed them home, they said.

One of the men said she banged on the apartment door until they opened it and then she forced her way in, ran into the bathroom, where her former boyfriend’s new girlfriend was, and attacked her. She pulled the new girlfriend’s hair and bit off part of her ear, according to the report. One of the men said he tried to help and the woman punched him in the mouth and bit him on the bicep. SOURCE

With such deep seated feelings for the man that brought on this reaction, it’s hard to imagine why he would reject a woman who can sink her teeth into the relationship with such passion.