The press that contains interesting stuff

This morning hasn’t been the most chilled out morning I’ve ever had the misfortune of growling at. I’ve been trying to get the country to recognise a new bank holiday but apparently ‘Dislike Bon Jovi for any 3 of 676,679 reasons’ doesn’t exactly fit the criteria. This is everything that’s wrong with the world. Thirsty Dave knows a man who drinks with a friend of the brother of a Dentist who removed a tooth from the sister of a girl who sat on a train next to a guy in a suit who told him that if you become a saint, you have a chance of getting a bank holiday named after you.

With this in massively confused mind, I became the patron saint of Mockers. I then took my self appointed, saintly self to the powers that be but they still wouldn’t give me what I want and what I deserve. At this stage I done what any self respecting Mocker would do and decided to start a campaign to get Mocking taught in all schools. You’re not going to believe this but it’s actually harder to do this than it is to get the bank holiday! I know, if it wasn’t true, it would be unreal.

I then had breakfast and was going to head back to bed but I thought it was time Little Dill Y learned how to shave. Now some people might think that there’s no need for a 6 year old to learn how to shave but he’s mature for his age and goes on like a 7 year old. Anyway, I learned to shave when I was 41 and it done me no harm at all. I went to the press that contains interesting stuff and found the perfect learning tool for the occasion:




Share this Post: