Should a Dog Be Pink? | HumorOutcasts

Should a Dog Be Pink?

February 17, 2012
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After I selected my weekly supply of dog treats at our local pet store, I stepped in line behind a man who had his little canine with him. I  should clarify that I wasn’t sure at first if it was a dog. It did resemble a Chihuaha, but it had a big pink hat on its head which obscured its face. Of course, I had to open my mouth and insert my foot.

“What a cute hat!” I said politely.

“It’s not a hat; are you blind?”

Honestly, I thought that answer was sort of rude. I was focused on unloading my cart, and I didn’t have on my glasses, so yes, I probably was blind.

“I’m sorry,” I responded quickly and looked closer at the dog.  “You dyed your dog?”

“I styled his hair into a mohawk and dyed the poof part pink.”

What I wanted to ask next was, “Are you crazy?”  But I held back. Yes, I think dying your dog is stupid, and I don’t mean to sound sexist but why did he dye his male dog’s hair pink? Did his dog want to go with pink? Is the owner outing his dog without his dog’s permission?  This was way more complicated than I initially thought, and for a second I wanted to take that dog home with me and shield him from his crazy owner but then I thought maybe the dog was truly happy with his pastel hair and his life. Who was I to judge?

It was at this moment I realized that the world, and that includes me, who mulled over the pink dog’s situation for far too long, had fallen over the edge into the abyss of insanity and was most likely never climbing back out.  I finished my errands and went home to my two pooches.  I let them out into the yard, and they went into their sprint mode to chase down a few squirrels that had scurried when they saw the dogs come through the back door. I sat on my wicker chair and considered what their lives would be like if I gave my pooches a pink hue.

First, I think they would lose all credibility with the birds and squirrels they chase. No one is afraid of a pink dog – I don’t care how big she is. Secondly, Mocha the dog, who lives behind us, would probably blackball them from the neighborhood bark and gossip fest that goes on each day; and third, they would be attacked on their daily walk by other dogs—and possibly a few cats. Yes, life for a poofed up pink pooch in my neighborhood would not be pleasant.

Later that night, I was talking to a friend who has a Rat Terrier or something little like that,  and I told her about the pink mohawk dog, and she said, “I would never ever do that to my Princess.”  And I felt justified in my revulsion over the pink poof.. These little dogs always had dignity until celebrities like Paris Hilton turned them into canine miniatures of themselves.  I was just about to say, “Thanks for restoring my faith in dog owners” when my friend added,

“I don’t do hair dye–ever. I will get braids put in and buy her a lovely hat. They have so many lovely hats now, but never hair dye. That is last year’s fad.”

I had nothing left to add to this conversation. My friend confirmed that the world is that far gone and the proof is in the pink hair and clothes that people buy for their pets. Will I bring my dogs into the world of pet fashion?  No. I think we will stay the course and hope that people will one day return to normalcy and the belief that being naked in the canine world is a fashion statement in itself and nothing to be ashamed of.

 

Donna Cavanagh

Donna Cavanagh is founder of HumorOutcasts.com (HO) and the partner publishing company, HumorOutcasts Press which now includes the labels Shorehouse Books and Corner Office Books (HOPress-Shorehousebooks.com). As "den mother" to the more than 100 aspiring and accomplished writers, producers, comics and authors, Cavanagh's goal is to allow creativity to flow. She is a former journalist who made an unscheduled stop into humor more than 20 years ago. Her syndicated columns helped her gain a national audience when her work landed in the pages of First Magazine and USA Today. She teaches the how-to lessons of humor and publishing at conferences and workshops throughout the country including The Philadelphia Writers' Conference and Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop. The author of four humor books, Cavanagh hopes her latest book, How to Write and Share Humor: Techniques to Tickle Funny Bones and Win Fans, will encourage writers not only to embrace their humor talents but show them off as well.

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6 Responses to Should a Dog Be Pink?

  1. lbwoodgate
    February 18, 2012 at 12:21 pm

    Oh God! Once Santorum gets wind of this guy and his dog there will be all kinds of vindication declared by his campaign on his obsession with sexual perversion

  2. Deb Martin-Webster
    February 18, 2012 at 9:13 am

    I agree Mike! Personally, I’d rather live vicariously through George Clooney. I’d even scratch his belly! But I’d never dye his hair pink Donna! LOL

  3. February 17, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    If we are going to treat our pets like humans, are we going to give tats to the hairless dogs or make them wear deodorant (which will absolutely destroy their social life!)?

    • February 17, 2012 at 4:33 pm

      Honestly, I love animals but people are freaking me out with this stuff. They need to get a real life and not live vicariously through their dogs.

      • February 17, 2012 at 4:40 pm

        Right! That’s what children are for.

        • Kitty
          February 18, 2012 at 1:19 am

          ಠ_ಠ



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