And We Thought We Were Helping

OH YEAH, NOW WE’RE TALKING! Crack a beer guys, cause this is gonna be good. You might want to be sitting down for this. Okay, are you ready?

Researchers have found that partnerships in which the wife does all the household tasks report having sex 1.6 times more per month than couples in which husbands participate in all the “female chores.”

That noise you just heard? That’s me dumping the dishes back into the sink.

I know what you’re thinking – some “barefoot in the kitchen” stuck-in-the-fifties group like Focus On The Family must be behind this study. Nope, University of Washington. Their football players might suck, but their researchers totally rock.

Check out this statement by the study’s lead author: “Couples in which men participate in more housework typically done by women report having sex less frequently.” Well duh, if you’ve ever seen how long it takes a guy to vacuum a room, this makes total sense (not much time left for anything else). But you know what this means, guys – it’s time to print that quote in 72-point font and tape it to the laundry basket.

But hold on. It’s not that simple (the confusing realms of marriage and sex rarely are). The researchers continue: “Men who refuse to help around the house could increase conflict in their marriage and lower their wives marital satisfaction.”

Note the use of the word “could.”

Apparently, our definitions of attractiveness are still heavily linked to ideals of masculinity and femininity. As the researchers note: “Socialized gender roles are important to sexual frequency in heterosexual marriages”. In layman’s terms, things roll better the more men do manly things and women do womanly things (at least around the house). So yup, not much has changed. We’re apparently still cave-people after all this time.

The authors conclude: “Couples in which men participate in more traditionally masculine tasks – such as DIY and car maintenance – report higher sexual frequency.” So if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna put down this sock I’m mending and go fix that outlet in the living room. I don’t know squat about electrical repair and I’ll probably fry myself. After that I’m going to head downtown and get a tattoo of a tool belt on my waist. Painful, yes, but totally worth it.

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5 thoughts on “And We Thought We Were Helping”

  1. If I were married, I would gladly do all the vacuuming, dusting, floor mopping and bathroom-cleaning if my husband would do all the cooking and washing of dishes.

    That would not only make me happy, it would probably save our lives.

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