Just last month, China announced that residents living within a 17-mile radius of Shanghai would be permitted to participate in the same mindless posting enjoyed by the rest of the free world. Today our friends to the east have modified this policy in a move that many, even in the United States, are hoping goes viral. Here is the official statement out of Beijing:
IN ORDER TO CREATE A BETTER, LESS CROWDED FACEBOOK ENVIRONMENT, ACTIVITY WILL BE LIMITED TO ONE POST PER FAMILY PER DAY. WE BUILT A GREAT WALL ONCE BEFORE; IF WE REFRAIN FROM POSTING PICTURES OF THE NOODLE BOWL WE HAD FOR LUNCH, WE CAN DO IT AGAIN. CHINA WILL NOT PUBLISH CANDY CRUSH SCORES, “CHECK-INS” AT HOTSPOTS LIKE “MA YU CHING’S PLUMBER’S WORLD,” OR ADORABLE PICTURES OF ANIMALS (SEE NOODLE BOWL).
WE SUGGEST THAT FAMILIES WHO FEEL THE NEED TO WRITE MORE THAN ONE DAILY POST DONATE THEIR EXCESS VERBIAGE TO LESS FORTUNATE FAMILIES WITH NOTHING TO SAY. PENALTIES FOR FACEBOOK OVERAGES RANGE FROM INVALIDATING GROUPONS TO FORCED STERILIZATION OF ALL HARD DRIVES.
LASTLY, FOR THOSE WHO MUST POST PICTURES ON “THROWBACK THURSDAY,” WE SUGGEST THIS PARTICULAR THURSDAY AS A PROTOTYPE: