Escaped School Meal Captured and Grilled by Police

lasagne mug shotA school meal that escaped from the cafeteria of a high school in suburban Philadelphia has been apprehended. The meal, thought to be from the lasagna family, was overpowered by a police S.W.A.T team.

Students at the high school said that the meal had been sitting in a cafeteria food tray for several days, and was making strange noises after being reheated a number of times and left to simmer.

“It hissed, puffed, and jumped off the tray,” said 11th grade student Bud C. “The next thing I knew it flew past me and was out the door.”

Although hall aides at the school are trained to stop fugitive meals, the lasagna managed to make its way down the main corridor before slamming into a fire door and making its escape. Streaks of cheese on the school walls mark the dish’s dramatic flight.

While on the run the lasagna went for a joy ride in a supermarket cart, and tried to form a gang by recruiting entrees from a nearby restaurant.

Police finally caught up with the meal as it attempted to hitch a ride in a fast food joint. It was armed with cutlery.

After questioning, the meal will be kept in custard for a few days. If no charges are brought, the lasagna will be returned to the school cafeteria for one last reheat before being served.

An official at the high school confirmed that there are plans to install wire netting around food trays to prevent meals from escaping.

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