Colliding Committees | HumorOutcasts

Colliding Committees

March 29, 2017

A friend of mine, employed by a huge corporation, was rear-ended by the steering committee and is now in the hospital with a fractured tailbone and a bruised employee rating.

Apparently the committee fought over who controls the steering wheel and made a wrong turn at the coffee & donut station.

The steering committee denies all responsibility, stating that the employee should have looked where he was going instead of at his jelly stick donut. The employee, licking jelly off his quarterly report, countered with, “Isn’t it their job to tell us where we are going?”

Things got tense and lawyers were brought in. They suggested the sunroof committee, always in a good mood, get involved, but they only meet during the summer.

The cruise control committee wondered what all the fuss was about. “You aren’t using the technology properly”, they said.

Some blamed the windshield washer committee for not doing its job and blurring the company’s vision. Upon checking, it was discovered that the windshield washer committee was empty.

Everyone agreed the company’s reputation should be fixed by the bells and whistles committee, with help from the leasing committee, but the leasing committee said, “Hey, you own the problem, not us.”

It was clear the steering committee was driving everyone around the bend.

The brakes committee tried to put a stop to all these other colliding committees. It turns out the brakes committee had been working too hard for years and all the members were worn out.

My friend succumbed to his injuries. He was laid off and laid to rest on the very same day.




I am a graphic designer, humour writer, musician and piano teacher. And that's only during the day. At night I fight crime and hang out with my wonderful family.

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2 Responses to Colliding Committees

  1. March 29, 2017 at 9:14 pm

    Very clever indeed Paul! Drove me to giggles!

    • April 1, 2017 at 12:02 am

      Thanks. I showed it to the humour committee and they rejected it.

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