Blog Archives

Playing the Conundrums

October 14, 2018
By

  I felt really arrogant yesterday so I let out some self-esteam. I bought some batteries and the electricity was sold separately. I’m tired of weather being in the news 24/7. Yesterday my therapist downgraded…

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Nothing At All

September 3, 2018
By

A new longitudinal study that examined nothingness, conducted over a 100-year period, has concluded nothing at all. Said the scientists: “This is a great success for the scientific community. Nay, for humanity itself. At first, we were…

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Karma Named in First Ever Lawsuit

August 26, 2018
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Karma Named in First Ever Lawsuit

In a first-of-its-kind lawsuit, an 11-year-old boy is suing Karma for negligence. Little Johnny G. Shufflebottom, speaking in court through his lawyer, Ken Garoo, claims that Karma, the universal justice-of-last-resort, bankrupted his lemonade stand empire as pay-back for…

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Brain Slices

August 14, 2018
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Brain Slices

I went into a Bed Bath & Beyond and asked to see the Beyond part. No one had a clue where it was. All they could tell me is several other people went looking for it and…

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See Ya Later, Escalator

August 7, 2018
By
See Ya Later, Escalator

  Despite it being one of the few free forms of transportation available (along with the elevator and your legs), the escalator is not my preferred way of getting around. If you work downtown, like…

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Well, you’re a real Einstein, aren’t you.

July 8, 2018
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Well, you’re a real Einstein, aren’t you.

  I wonder how long we will use “Einstein” as a way to denote someone who’s genius-level smart, or who thinks he is? “Well, you’re a real Einstein, aren’t you.” It’s mostly used sarcastically, or sardonically, or…

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The iShoe

June 2, 2018
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The iShoe

Isn’t it weird that in Get Smart the cell phone had already been invented and yet they hadn’t managed to invent the touch-tone key pad? That’s like inventing the gas-powered electric car. I’m assuming his shoe was…

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A Physicist’s Daily Routine

May 17, 2018
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                    6:00 a.m. Alarm sounds but universe is expanding so hard to hear. Sleep in for a Planck length. Move at the speed of sloth. Reach…

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IKEA’s Balls

May 10, 2018
By

Have you tried the IKEA meatballs? Pretty good. Assembling them is tricky, and you can’t store anything in them, like clothes or books, but they’re tastier than a bed frame. Even when I accidentally swallowed…

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Disclosure Agreement

May 6, 2018
By

I slept with a porn star when I was in high school. But instead of paying her to keep quiet, I had to pay her to admit it to my friends, so I could brag…

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How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

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The Astounding Misadventures of Rory Collins
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Rats, Mice, And Other Things You Can't Take to The Bank: An Inspirational Collection of Essays from Humorous to Simply Human
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