Blog Archives

Brain Slices

August 14, 2018
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Brain Slices

I went into a Bed Bath & Beyond and asked to see the Beyond part. No one had a clue where it was. All they could tell me is several other people went looking for it and…

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See Ya Later, Escalator

August 7, 2018
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See Ya Later, Escalator

  Despite it being one of the few free forms of transportation available (along with the elevator and your legs), the escalator is not my preferred way of getting around. If you work downtown, like…

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Well, you’re a real Einstein, aren’t you.

July 8, 2018
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Well, you’re a real Einstein, aren’t you.

  I wonder how long we will use “Einstein” as a way to denote someone who’s genius-level smart, or who thinks he is? “Well, you’re a real Einstein, aren’t you.” It’s mostly used sarcastically, or sardonically, or…

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The iShoe

June 2, 2018
By
The iShoe

Isn’t it weird that in Get Smart the cell phone had already been invented and yet they hadn’t managed to invent the touch-tone key pad? That’s like inventing the gas-powered electric car. I’m assuming his shoe was…

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A Physicist’s Daily Routine

May 17, 2018
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                    6:00 a.m. Alarm sounds but universe is expanding so hard to hear. Sleep in for a Planck length. Move at the speed of sloth. Reach…

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IKEA’s Balls

May 10, 2018
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Have you tried the IKEA meatballs? Pretty good. Assembling them is tricky, and you can’t store anything in them, like clothes or books, but they’re tastier than a bed frame. Even when I accidentally swallowed…

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Disclosure Agreement

May 6, 2018
By

I slept with a porn star when I was in high school. But instead of paying her to keep quiet, I had to pay her to admit it to my friends, so I could brag…

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Brush with Death

April 29, 2018
By
Brush with Death

I had a brush with death yesterday. He brushed my teeth, which was very nice of him. Told me bad dental hygiene can lead to health problems, and a more permanent visit from him. “I’m…

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Scooter Libby

April 13, 2018
By

Trump just pardoned Scooter Libby. Upon hearing the news, Scooter rushed home and hugged his kids, Mo-ped and Dirt-bike. His wife, Tesla, rebuffed his advances, saying she’s more autonomous now.   PFHardieI am a graphic…

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Gun with a Gun

March 20, 2018
By
Gun with a Gun

The other day I saw a gun carrying another gun for protection. “No one is safe”, said the first gun. It was a smart gun. Knew all of its gun rights. The second gun also…

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New Release
How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle


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The Astounding Misadventures of Rory Collins
By Brian Kiley and HumorOutcasts Press

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Rats, Mice, And Other Things You Can't Take to The Bank: An Inspirational Collection of Essays from Humorous to Simply Human
By Leslie Handler. and HumorOutcasts Press

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