The other day I was having serious virus issues (no, I don’t have Ebola, I’m talking about my computer here). My outdated machine kept getting flooded with adware. How old is my computer? — Let’s just say that the Y2K thing didn’t scare me much because even then my computer was pretty old.
So I called the anti-virus company and was connected to a tech. The guy took control of my computer remotely. He was a total badass. I watched as windows opened and closed, programs ran, and settings I didn’t even know existed got changed. The tech deleted some junk files and then ran an analysis program. A few minutes later a summary page popped up on the screen.
Over the phone the tech asked “Do you know what a Registry is?”
I did, vaguely, but I said “Is that where I list the things I want for my wedding?”
The line went silent. I pictured a guy in India holding a hand to his forehead. The very nice gentleman was probably being careful in choosing his reply. It wouldn’t have surprised me if he’d said “I am sorry, sir, we are having an earthquake” and then hung up.
So I said “Just kidding, but I’m looking at the report here and I’m guessing it’s not good.”
The report showed 851 infected Registry setting files. Basically, my computer had turned into a zombie.
The tech chuckled and said “In my entire career I have never seen this many infected Registry files. Maybe a hundred, but nothing like this.”
I laughed and said, “Well, it’s nice to be Number One at something.”
The guy spent 40 minutes cleaning up my digital equivalent of a meth lab. During pauses we had a pleasant conversation via a chat box. After we were done my computer hummed like a German sports car.
Yeah, I still suspect that those “Eastern European criminal-hackers” you hear about are actually freelancing for the anti-virus companies to generate business. But I’m here to say that the good folks in India totally rock.
You’re such an overachiever. Take pride in knowing that at that call station in India, your face is on a board in the break room with a note that says “At least you’re not having as bad of a day as this guy.”
You’re a celebrity!
Thomas, do you have a birthday coming up? Christmas? Anniversary? I have a suggestion. You should start now to hint around about how much you would really love to have a brand new state-of-the-art all-in-one computer. Something like this: http://www.dell.com/us/p/inspiron-3045-aio/pd .
There’s nothing like a brand new toy!
Okay, I will be a hard ass. Programmers overseas are not as good as US programmers and this is the reason why so many viruses get through. they don’t have as many restrictions. So, they should bend over backwards to make this right for you. And corporations should not get rid of their US tech people. Can you tell I’m married to an engineer?
Most of the big tech companies have their European base in Ireland. Part of me likes to think that this is because we’re a knowledge based economy but the realist in me knows it’s for tax reasons.
Wait a min…..was I just serious there?
That was a pretty strange feeling!
Europe is not the continent I am referring to Bill Y as I type on this PC that has had so many software and hardware issues because it is now made cheaper in some far away land that is not Ireland but discovered capitalism a decade ago.
Best not to make it a habit Bill.
He didn’t even ask if my computer was turned on! But seriously, I’ve heard that a lot of engineering type stuff and outsourcing is getting pulled back stateside for the reasons u mentioned plus a lot of admin/coordination headaches as well.