Lunchables

Life is funny, especially when we do things that just don’t make sense.

For example, If I’m in the grocery store and I forget my coupons in the car, I’ll pay $25 extra just because I can’t be bothered to walk back out to the parking lot. But if I’m out of state where there is not a Starbucks within three blocks of each other, I will happily waste several gallons of gas and two hours of time driving across three counties to get my grande white chocolate mocha.

Everyone has their thing, but some of us take it to the extreme. My friend Corey is one of those. He once spent two days on three different flights – from the east coast to the west coast and then home to Colorado – just to get bonus frequent flyer miles.

So I shouldn’t have been surprised when one morning when my daughter sends me a MAYDAY text: “Sam has no lunch. Please call his father and tell him to bring him some. I have to go into Physics Class now.”

What?! My beloved godson has no lunch?! He’s a teenager…at a very crucial point in his growth cycle…he needs to eat every meal!

Immediately I call my friend, but he doesn’t answer.

I leave a VM: “Corey, this is your BF calling… from New York… to let you know that your son…in Colorado… has no lunch. He called my daughter…in New York…to ask her to get in touch with you…in Colorado…so you can bring him the Lunchable that’s on the shelf in the refrigerator. Unfortunately, she has to be in class now, and is not allowed to use her cell phone, so she SOS’d me to help.”

lunchables

My friend does not respond all day, but I have faith that the law is the same in Colorado as it is in New York, and that the school will be required to feed Sam the hockey puck burgers or limp salads that we all ate in the cafeteria, and his parents can pay back the money.

When I’m sure school has let out, I text my godson and ask, “So what did you do for lunch?”
He says, “Nothing. But then my mom’s hair stylist dropped off my lunch at the end of the day and I ate it on the bus on the way to my basketball game. And then I got a hot dog and popcorn after the game.”

???

I want to see how this works.

I would LOVE to call up MY hair stylist, ROB, at SALON 3028 and say, “Hey Rob, Ali left her cell phone at home and I know she’s gonna need to text me after school to pick her up from her play practice. I know that I just interrupted you cutting John Edward (the famous psychic) to come to the phone, and I know that it can take weeks to get an appointment with you sometimes because your salon is so busy, but would you mind dropping everything, and running this over to her? Thanks, you’re a doll! SMOOCHES!”

rob hair

I’m gonna call him tomorrow and see how that goes…

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8 thoughts on “Lunchables”

  1. Now I don’t know this hair stylist dude but I think it’s safe to assume that he won’t be feeding anyone!

  2. Which reminds me of simpler days before internet and cellphones when my father hollered for me at the other side of the house late at night. Panic-stricken, I ran into the living room.

    “Are you okay, Dad?”

    “Sure,” he said. “While you’re here, can you change the channel on the tv?”

    The tv was five feet away.

    I could only imagine what he’d do if he were alive today.

      1. We used to try to get my little brother to stand by the TV and act as a human aerial, so we’d get a better picture. Now THAT was above and beyond the call of duty!

        1. That certainly is above and beyond…has he upgraded as he’s gotten older? In other words, would he come in handy when my wi-fi gives me a problem? 😉

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