Movie Time

The other day I was walking around at the gym, holding a small fire-extinguisher. The manager walked up to me and said “Hey man, what’s with the fire extinguisher?” To which I replied “My workouts are so intense that my clothes sometimes burst into flames. Kinda like that burning bush.”

Speaking of fiery biblical things, have you noticed the amount of attention being given to the forthcoming film Noah? It’s huge. Apparently, certain reviewers are quite perturbed about some of the “artistic liberties” that have been taken with the story of Noah. For example:

* The word “God” is never mentioned in the dialogue. However, there is one scene where Noah is swinging a hammer. He misses the nail, crushes his thumb, and then shouts “God damnit!”

* After countless exhausting hours hand-sawing logs into boards, Noah is seen leaving a Home Depot with a stack of 2×4’s strapped to a pair of hippos.

* In an early scene Noah admits that the only reason he’s building the arc is because he never learned how to swim.

But the biggest problem reviewers have with the film appears in the climactic scene, where the animals are being led up a ramp and onto the arc. The two giraffes are about to step on board when Noah intervenes. He leans down and looks under the giraffes’ butts. And when he sees that they’re both male, Noah says “Good, that works for me. Less quibbling. Next!!”

I’m ignoring the naysayers and checking Noah out. Russell Crowe supposedly rocks the part. And I dig artistic liberties.