Navigating life in a Post-Roe world will soon become a lot more enjoyable for young ladies.  Hasbro has revised its beloved Chutes and Ladders board game and will begin selling a girls-only version on August 1st. 

In the new edition, the game board is a map of the United States.  All players start in Mississippi; the goal of each girl is to be the first one to arrive in a state that treats her like a human being.  In this version of the game the only states that fulfill this criterion are the faraway lands of California and Massachusetts. 

The journey is not an easy one, because if a player lands on a Breeder space she slides down a chute that returns her to Mississippi, Texas, or Oklahoma.  However, there are several Underground Railroad spaces (ladders) that can transport her unscathed through hostile territories.   

To make the game as realistic as possible, some players’ tokens represent low-income females.  Their spinners can only move them 1 or 2 spaces at a time, and they must travel in buses featuring clogged toilets or in ancient autos that break down frequently.  The more privileged players have spinners that contain only 9’s and 10’s, and they can use air transportation to fly business class toward their desired destination, with few layovers. 

“We pride ourselves on manufacturing games that are fun and timely,”  says Hasbro CEO Chris Cocks.  “And this game will provide both teen and preteen girls with important life lessons.

“In anticipation of next year’s term of the Supreme Court, our R&D Department is currently hard at work on a game called Runaway Slave.  I promise you, it won’t disappoint.”

Share this Post: