‘Open’ Parking Space Actually Seems To Be Taken By a #*%&ing MG Again

Parking lot

Upon further inspection, an against-all-odds open parking spot spied by Michael Brenton at the Valley View Mall Friday night was determined not to be unoccupied after all. On approach, this lucky spot was quickly discovered to have once again already been taken by a small British convertible.

Denied

“Happens every… fucking… time. I’ll see a spot and I’ll head down that row. I’ll feel the euphoria of getting there with nobody else there to snatch it from me. ‘This is my lucky day,’ I think. Then I get closer and see that it’s some God damned tiny British thing…MG…or Triumph…what’s the difference, really? How many of these fucking things even exist in the world anymore? Twelve? And yet they’re all in the spots I’m trying to park in! How is this even mathematically possible? Sometimes I’d like to stick around and see what kind of dickbag would drive such a thing. But I always have shit to do. Like looking for another fucking parking spot. Asshole.”

Mall security footage showed no fewer than 38 cars approaching the spot and slowly turning towards it before stopping, shouting some obscenities, and zooming off.

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6 thoughts on “‘Open’ Parking Space Actually Seems To Be Taken By a #*%&ing MG Again”

  1. Which reminds me of a parking story: a woman I knew tried to park her car in an empty spot when another car zipped in. The driver flipped her the bird and laughed at her. She parked several blocks away. While walking, still fuming, she came across several half-filled paint cans. We know what she did next, right?

  2. This gives me an idea–fill up spots with Tonka Truck toys culled from Goodwill. The descent from euphoria to disappointment when this happens IS rough.

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