Playing Hardball

Vladimir Putin might shop for suits at the same store that used car salesmen do, but don’t let that fool you. He’s devious and crafty. And he doesn’t give a damn about people. Just like a used car salesman.

Responding to enhanced sanctions from Europe and the US, Putin took up his ventriloquist act once again and, acting through Dmitry Medvedev, threatened to close Russian airspace to airliners. This means that people traveling from Europe to Asia will have to make a long detour around Siberia.

Putin knows the human body can only survive on peanuts for so long. And somewhere in Brussles, a guy who tells himself that his lifestyle is worth it due to all the frequent flyer miles he racks up is about to watch his life get a lot worse.

I flew home from Connecticut a few days ago. Sometime around Hour Six I started nodding off and waking up. From the side I must’ve looked like an oil well — head slowly falling and then rising, over and over. I finally fell asleep but woke up with a puddle of drool on my shoulder and my head pressed against my neighbor’s shoulder. If my flight had been extended for even a minute I would’ve snapped. I’d have lost my religion like Peter Buck on that British Airways flight (Google it).

Putin knows this. He knows the desperation of the long-haul flyer, the guy who sits in an airport lounge discussing the merits of various airports (“Yeah, but at least they’ve got a Sbarro”). As a former KGB agent, he understands weak spots. So he knows one extra read through the Sky Mall magazine is enough to crush even the strongest human will.

I see Old Beady Eyes winning this round. He’s a crafty bugger.