Let’s look at some of the highlights of this shark attack film. If you didn’t yet watch the film, turn your eyes from this page as I will be revealing the plot and some of its finer points.
Ian Ziering returns in the hero role as does Tara Reid as his romantic and brave sidekick. We begin with the couple (divorced but the last sharknado–shark/tornado combo—romp brought them closer together and now they are trying to work things out. She is sporting her wedding rings again). Hey, I get that, He got swallowed by a shark last time and fortunately, he had a chain saw in his hands and was able to cut his way out of the belly. If that doesn’t inspire a couple to reconcile, I don’t know what will.
The movie begins with them on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The flight is experiencing major turbulence as it flies through a thunderstorm. And as it was with the classic Twilight Zone episode where William Shatner sees a monster on the wing of his plane, Ziering sees sharks spinning outside his window. He thinks he is imagining them at first, but when one of the sharks gets caught in the engine of the plane and all hell breaks loose, he knows the flight is in danger. My first clue that there might trouble was when a shark crashed through the plane at 30,000 feet causing a gaping hole which sucked out passengers who were screaming “Shark! Shark!” The flying fish then proceeded to chomp the head off the flight attendant who tried valiantly to fight off the beast. Hey, subtlety is not lost on me.
Tara Reid is almost sucked out too. As she is holding on to some kind of strap inside the plane, sharks start coming after her from the air because as we surmise, it’s another Sharknado. This couple cannot get a break! A guy on the plane, who was either an air marshal or terrorist (I had to go to the bathroom so missed his ID), hands her his gun, and she is able to shoot the sharks while flapping in the wind and holding on with one hand to the aforementioned strap. Unfortunately, a shark bites off her gun hand, but luckily Ziering is in the cockpit and is landing the plane. I guess I should mention that the pilots are dead too—victims of the flying fish. I hope the Pilot’s Union pays attention to this. The plane lands, Tara Reid is rushed into surgery and do you know the most miraculous aspect of this experience? Her eyeliner remained totally unsmudged and her diamond earrings stayed in her ears.
Anyway, I am in awe of this flick as it had everything a moviegoer is looking for: family conflict, tons of cameo appearances by famous stars, special effects that include everything from the Statue of Liberty’s head flying through the streets of NY to Ziering being sucked up through a Sharknado where he is able to reel in a chain saw he sees fly by him. What are the chances of him finding two chain saws in two different movies? With unbelievable presence of mind, he jumps into a shark’s mouth and rips it to shreds with that chain saw all while spinning at 200 MPH. I almost wept at that scene. It was so poignant.
Remember Tara Reid’s missing hand? Well, after Ziering implodes the Sharknado with propane and Vivica Fox’s help (see below), one of the killing fish bastards drops to the ground with Ziering and what does Ziering pull out of that shark’s body? Are you ready? Tara Reid’s missing hand, and it still had her engagement ring on its little lifeless finger. Talk about gut wrenching emotion. He pulls the ring off the dead finger and gets down on one knee and places that ring on Tara’s right hand– you know the one still attached. Of course, they kiss and well, the people of NYC applaud with glee. So romantic, right?
Obviously, I have omitted quite a few scenes such as a shark attack at Citipark during a Mets’ game, the entire family conflict subplot, Vivica Fox’s role which was pretty lame as the chick who pines for Ziering but finds comfort in the fact he is in love with someone else (Vivica was a little off in this flick. I wouldn’t peg her as a worship from afar type of gal. She’s more of a “I’ll make you disappear for messing with my man” type of gal), and last but not least, the incredible acting performances of Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan.
Those who like sharks flying through the air and decapitating people will love this flick. I have to wonder if this movie is supposed to be just another shark flick or are there lessons to be learned such as:
- Lend a hand – you’ll probably get one back in the end
- Take it from the guy in Texas, chain saws are a good choice of weaponry
- Good jewelry can survive anything; don’t buy the cheap stuff.
- News anchors should never do comedy
- Sharks can even make a Mets game seem exciting