The New Activism

Two former workers recently filed a lawsuit against the fast-food franchise Jimmy John’s. In their suit these workers claimed they were regularly forced to work off the clock so the franchise could keep labor costs down and dodge paying overtime. The lawsuit is now a proposed class action (“class action” refers to any lawsuit brought against an employer who has no class).

I applaud this move. But what’s really needed to change things is action by customers. We know that fast food companies only care about one thing – money. It’s no coincidence that this fast-food icon looks just like someone running a 19th century plantation:


But it’s beyond time to picket outside stores or engage in Twitter hashtag activism. That is so yesterday. We need an entirely new approach to activism, something that directly hits the company’s bottom line. So here’s what you do:

Go into Jimmy John’s and buy the cheapest thing on the menu, perhaps some fries. Then go into Jimmy’s John and get to work. Stand next to the toilet and flush. And then spend the next twenty minutes nibbling on your fries while you flush the toilet over and over. And then let the next concerned person have their turn.

After a month of this the company will look at their water bill and realize it’s cheaper to just pay people what (very little money) they’re owed.

But as with any good movement, there’s more to do. We need to develop a kick-ass motto. So here it is:

Okay…wait for it…our motto will be: “Yes we CAN!”


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4 thoughts on “The New Activism”

  1. The Colonel looks like the dude that DiCaprio played in the motion picure Django Unchained.

  2. Or you could buy the fries, dump them in the toilet, and let the grease and starch clog the main “artery” of Jimmy Johns while you go get something good to eat. Take that, plantation owner!

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