Affairs Of The Heart (Attack)


New research has found that men in polygamous marriages have a significantly higher risk of heart disease than men with only one spouse. The researchers concluded that having more than one wife yields a four-fold risk of developing coronary artery disease.

I know what you’re thinking. But no, this has nothing to do with forgetting multiple anniversaries.

Nope, the researchers claimed that the cause for this ticker-turbulence is stress driven by economic concerns. They reason that maintaining multiple marriages gets expensive, thereby increasing stress as the guy needs to take on a second job or travel more for work.

BIG LOVE: Ginnifer Goodwin, Chloe Sevigny, Bill Paxton, Jeanne Tripplehorn. photo: Ron Batzdorff

But I’m not buying that logic. I think the heart just can’t handle being wrong that much more.

The research was conducted in Saudi Arabia and the UAE. So here’s another possible explanation: having additional wives means an increased chance of getting stoned to death for being an accessory to adultery.

That’d be hell on anyone’s heart.

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6 thoughts on “Affairs Of The Heart (Attack)”

  1. I once had a dream that I was in a polygamous marriage and every time I got stung by a bee, I broke out in wives!

    I know there is no apology that can take away the pain of that pun Tom but I am truly sorry. I really am.

  2. Being outnumbered, out-voted, and out-argued, combined with the knowledge that any one of them could kill you in your sleep while the other two provide an alibi…well then, bring on the attack!

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