Better Schooling For Fido

With all the big problems in the world, the problem of dogs shooting their owners rarely gets the attention it deserves. But Shooting-By-Pet happens more often than you’d think. A guy in Texas was recently the victim of one such incident. Commanded by his owner to get in the back seat, a dog stepped on a rifle trigger while jumping into the back of the truck. The owner survived with a gnarly injury to one of his arms. A while before that, a duck hunter in Oregon suffered a similar so-called “accident”. His dog was jumping out of the boat and its toenail snagged the trigger on his owner’s rifle. Other hunters in the area reported hearing a small cheer from high up in the trees. Or maybe it was laughter.

That guy survived as well. Apparently dogs don’t shoot to kill.

As with any problem, we need intelligent solutions. But first we need to get to the root of what’s causing the problem. And what do we know? We know that the gun owners aren’t at fault, because the newspapers always say “The gun accidentally discharged”. But a Shooting-By-Pet is different. It’s not the gun’s fault; it’s clearly the dog’s.

Simply put, most dogs don’t receive proper firearms training.

This isn’t hard to remedy. We just need to alter the obedience training that most dogs receive. Here’s how we enhance the dog-training curriculum:

Put a set of computerized goggles on the dog. Then put a rifle on the floor. Whenever the dog approaches the rifle, show the dog a video of a cat sitting in his big fluffy bed from Petco. If you haven’t watched one of those videos on YouTube you should – the cat refuses to relinquish the dog’s bed and swipes a paw with fury. The dog tries to drag the bed and flip it, all to no avail. Humiliated by a far smaller creature, the dog usually slinks away in dejection.

After seeing that video, the dog will always associate a gun with getting schooled by a cat. Yes, it’s no fun temporarily depressing a dog. But it sure beats getting shot.