California Determined To Protect Christmas

Authorities in California are urging residents to NOT light a fire in their fireplaces this Christmas morning. The unusual request has nothing to do with air quality, but rather follows a recent incident in Fresno County. Authorities there said that a homeowner heard someone scream after he lit a fire in his fireplace. Upon investigation, police found a 19-year-old burglar wedged inside the chimney.

Fresno County Sheriff’s spokesman Toni Botty said, “The Sheriff’s office wants everyone to have a safe and enjoyable Christmas. We are concerned that, given his obvious and well documented girth, Santa could easily get stuck in the family’s chimney. The war on Christams is once again in full swing, and slow-cooking Santa would be the final nail in the Christmas coffin. And it’s no way to start what should be a safe and enjoyable season for everyone.”

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2 thoughts on “California Determined To Protect Christmas”

  1. Please pay no attention to this propaganda. Santa is magical and never gets stuck. He simply lays his finger aside of his nose and gives a nod.

    Go ahead and light the log. Yule be glad you did.

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