Horton Hears a Hoo-Ha | HumorOutcasts

Horton Hears a Hoo-Ha

January 23, 2015


There’s a Hoo-Ha in Whoville

The thing is bright pink

And its stink is much stinkier than the stink from a Gink

Its color’s more vivid than you’d ever think

And when folks down in Whoville see it, they shrink

It makes the Whos’ eyes wide, but they give it a wink

It’s ingrained in their memories like indelible ink

And they love it so much, that they buy it a drink

They karaoke with it ’cause it can lip sync

And everything’s been in it, ‘cept the kitchen sink

Why the sight of that Hoo-Ha makes everyone blink

Some Whos approach it

While others will slink

Why, some Whos have easily been sent to the brink

But there’s nothing to fear, so don’t be such a grink

For, it’s surface is smooth as an ice skating rink

It’s more precious than gold, or copper, or zinc

When you tap it, it makes a sweet sound that goes plinkity-plinks

Or like balls played for tennis that go dinkity-dinks

And you could easily hit that, if your wand is like Tink’s

There’s a place for your missile,

A spot to heat sink

But don’t touch it, or people will think you’re a fink

Or worse, you could wind up a fink in the clink

Just imagine its softness, more lush than a mink

A void filled for the Whos

Like some missing link

It dresses up nicely

Like the prinkiest prink

So if you’re down in Whoville

and you spot the Hoo-Ha

Say “Hello!”, drop your pretense

But don’t drop your jaw

Just open your wallet, spend your money like Brinks

Because the Whos down in Whoville just opened Hoo-Ha Incs.

And it’s been really lucrative

More than you’d ever think

Consider this H00-Ha a slam dunk


Linda Roy

Linda Roy is a humorist, writer, musician living in New Jersey with her husband and two boys. Her blog elleroy was here is a mix of humor and music she refers to as "funny with a soundtrack". She is Managing Partner and Editor-in-Chief at the politics & pop culture website Lefty Pop and was named one of BlogHer's Voices of the Year for 2014. Her work has appeared at The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, In the Powder Room, Aiming Low, Funny Not Slutty, Erma Bombeck Writer's Workshop, Midlife Boulevard, Mamapedia, Sprocket Ink, The Weeklings, and BonBon Break. She's the female Larry David, and will criticize your parallel parking to prove it. When she's not snarking and kvetching, she's fronting the Indie/Americana band Jehova Waitresses.

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2 Responses to Horton Hears a Hoo-Ha

  1. January 24, 2015 at 5:36 am

    Ha! Glad my kids are past the Dr Seuss age, cause I’d have a hard time keeping this out of my head when reading to them.

  2. January 23, 2015 at 4:24 pm

    I see poet laureate in your future!

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