Is This Still Funny?

IS THIS STILL FUNNY?

I’ve been writing jokes since the 80s (way before the internet) and used to keep a file of newspaper clippings on potentially funny stories. With the internet this is no longer necessary but I recently uncovered a batch of clippings from 1990 which made me go “Hmmm?” I wonder if these still would work. Will the reader of today remember a wall in Germany, or the Pete Rose scandal, or a lip-syncing duo? It might be worth a shot. Are these stories still funny?

The “HEY BUDDY, TAKE THIS NOTE AND PASS IT ON” story:

The blind California bank robber who was given $ 105 after passing a threatening note to the teller then he and his seeing-eye dog were both arrested. We’re told the dog cased the joint.

The DID WE REALLY NEED THIS STUDY? Department:

When they announced they discovered the single biggest cause for male infertility to be HEREDITY?
Gee, I guess that means if your parents didn’t have children, chances are…

And ANOTHER STUDY WE REALLY, REALLY DIDN’T NEED:

The Philadelphia researchers who gathered armpit sweat from male volunteers and announced they isolated the cause of underarm odor.

Story REQUIRING RECONVENING THE “OH, NO!” SQUAD:

When the Marion Prison warden announces that, like all other incoming prisoners, Pete Rose will have his head shaved.

The “SURE, WE ALL EXPECTED BLACK GUYS WITH GERMAN ACCENTS TO BE NATURAL RAPPERS” department:

When musicdom feigned shock and surprise Milli-Vanilli didn’t sing on their records.

Followed by the BEST SONG TITLE EVER FOR A RECORD WHEN YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS FALSE:
Milli-Vanilli’s “Baby, You Know It’s True.”

The HAPPY/SAD PHOTO OCCASION:

Misty-eyed East German handball players witnessing the demolition of their wall.

The HARD TO RESIST A PUN DEPARTMENT:

The story from Nashville about the extra-marital affair between Nashville’s mayor John Boner and a lady named Nancy Peeler. Stifle.

The SHOULDN’T HE BE IN A MORE CREATIVE LINE OF ENDEAVER? department:

Story of Weatherford, Oklahoma policeman who falsely claimed he was tied up and forced to submit himself and his gun to a cruel game of Russian roulette and then, to top it off, suffer the further indignity of having the event videotaped.

The “OH, NO, NOT YOU…. AGAIN!” story:

When Vice-President Quayle returns from Chile with an anatomically exaggerated wooden Indian statuette.