Need a Vaguely Inappropriate Name for Your Body Piercing Shop? | HumorOutcasts

Need a Vaguely Inappropriate Name for Your Body Piercing Shop?

June 21, 2018

My working knowledge of body piercings is limited to my earlobes (one piercing each), having a decent phlebotomist in my healthcare provider network, and one perfectly lovely conversation at the check-out line at my local craft store with an individual sporting an impressive amount of facial jewelry. (The conversation largely consisted of me asking impressive questions like, “What happens if your face gets near a large particle accelerator?” and “Why are you rolling your eyes at me?”)

However, I’ve never let knowledge, working or otherwise, get in the way of living my best life, so here is a list of vaguely inappropriate names for body piercing shops:

  • Dangling Conversation
  • Fourchette’s Sake
  • Studs & Holes
  • Knots Landing
  • We Got Your Backs: Push, French, Latch, Screw, Lever, and Nickle (if you’re not allergic)
  • Ampallang Gang
  • Scarring Me A Part
  • House O’ Crusties
  • Dermal Punch ‘n Go
  • Hafada Matata
  • In a Pinch
  • Outpost
  • Wynks
  • Prince Albert (Yes, We Can!)
  • Plugs and Tunnels
  • Funyuns
  • Indwelling Cannula


Jackie Pick

Jackie Pick is a former teacher who only recently embraced her true calling as a word monkey. She is a contributing author to both Multiples Illuminated anthologies, as well as Here in the Middle and So Glad They Told Me: Women Get Real About Motherhood and the Audie-nominated Nevertheless We Persisted. Her writing has appeared in the literary magazines The Sun and Selfish, as well as various online sites including Mamalode, The HerStories Project, and Scary Mommy. She is also co-writer and executive producer of the award-winning short film Fixed Up and a proud member of the 2017 Chicago cast of Listen To Your Mother. A graduate of the University of Chicago and Northwestern, Jackie lives in the Chicago area with her husband and her three children. You can follow Jackie on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, where she mostly just apologizes for not updating her blog.

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