Need a Vaguely Inappropriate Name for Your Body Piercing Shop?

My working knowledge of body piercings is limited to my earlobes (one piercing each), having a decent phlebotomist in my healthcare provider network, and one perfectly lovely conversation at the check-out line at my local craft store with an individual sporting an impressive amount of facial jewelry. (The conversation largely consisted of me asking impressive questions like, “What happens if your face gets near a large particle accelerator?” and “Why are you rolling your eyes at me?”)

However, I’ve never let knowledge, working or otherwise, get in the way of living my best life, so here is a list of vaguely inappropriate names for body piercing shops:

  • Dangling Conversation
  • Fourchette’s Sake
  • Studs & Holes
  • Knots Landing
  • We Got Your Backs: Push, French, Latch, Screw, Lever, and Nickle (if you’re not allergic)
  • Ampallang Gang
  • Scarring Me A Part
  • House O’ Crusties
  • Dermal Punch ‘n Go
  • Hafada Matata
  • In a Pinch
  • Outpost
  • Wynks
  • Prince Albert (Yes, We Can!)
  • Plugs and Tunnels
  • Funyuns
  • Indwelling Cannula


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