Literally…Keeping that Spark Alive | HumorOutcasts

Literally…Keeping that Spark Alive

May 15, 2015

memory boxOnce again, I am not sure why these things find their way into my inbox, but apparently, a lot of people out there think I am more adventurous than I am.  Despite the plethora of sex emails that I tend to get and ignore, I have to admit that this message grabbed my attention as it meshes together the three great topics: sex, death and love.

Let’s take a poll: how many of you bought a necklace with your loved one’s hair or ashes from a funeral home as a keepsake?  Raise your hands and don’t be shy; these items are quite common amongst the bereaved.  Okay, how many of you would have preferred your loved one’s remains in another “vessel”—say a dildo?

Yep, a Dutch entrepreneur is now offering a memory box that allows a widow or significant other to re-live the intimate memories of their deceased lover.  The memory box contains 21 grams of the deceased person’s ashes which are encased in that special “toy.” A box holds the toy and a sample of the loved one’s signature scent. The box also serves as an iPod amplifier so the bereaved can load up the deceased person’s favorite music selection to enhance the romance of the moment. As insurance that prying eyes won’t discover the special keepsake, the box has a lock and a key pendant so that the bereaved can always keep their loved one close to their heart—at least symbolically.

As always,  I have some questions:

1. Can the “toy” accidentally open and deposit the ashes into places not meant for ashes?

2. Is there a contingency plan for what goes into the toy if the deceased decides he does not want to be cremated?

And finally,

3. Is there a limit on how many memory boxes one woman can buy?

Donna Cavanagh

Donna Cavanagh is founder of (HO) and the partner publishing company, HumorOutcasts Press which now includes the labels Shorehouse Books and Corner Office Books ( As "den mother" to the more than 100 aspiring and accomplished writers, producers, comics and authors, Cavanagh's goal is to allow creativity to flow. She is a former journalist who made an unscheduled stop into humor more than 20 years ago. Her syndicated columns helped her gain a national audience when her work landed in the pages of First Magazine and USA Today. She teaches the how-to lessons of humor and publishing at conferences and workshops throughout the country including The Philadelphia Writers' Conference and Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop. The author of four humor books, Cavanagh hopes her latest book, How to Write and Share Humor: Techniques to Tickle Funny Bones and Win Fans, will encourage writers not only to embrace their humor talents but show them off as well.

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20 Responses to Literally…Keeping that Spark Alive

  1. May 19, 2015 at 11:54 am

    literally laughed out loud! haha

  2. Deb Martin-Webster
    May 15, 2015 at 9:22 pm

    Gives a whole meaning to, “He was a pain in my ass in life, so why not in death – only in a happy sexy way.

  3. May 15, 2015 at 2:31 pm

    Big, big laugh on this one. I envy your mailing list.

    • May 15, 2015 at 4:18 pm

      Thanks so much Thomas. I can refer you to these people if you want.

  4. Bill Y Ledden
    May 15, 2015 at 2:23 pm

    It’s all good Don Don’s. I’ll stop sending the emails!

  5. May 15, 2015 at 12:46 pm

    “Keep your love alive. Keep your love alive. Spending all your time and money to keep your love alive.” – Queen

    * Those lyrics are quite possibly close to the real ones.

  6. May 15, 2015 at 12:44 pm

    Just the thing for that polygamist with many wives.

    • May 15, 2015 at 1:11 pm

      I guess his contribution to keeping the harem happy?

  7. May 15, 2015 at 11:55 am

    Ewww, another strange thought that will kick around in the empty can of my brain, making way too much noise. Eeeeeek!

    • May 15, 2015 at 1:11 pm

      I’m sorry Suzette for adding to the noise, but it just spoke to me! LOL

  8. May 15, 2015 at 11:55 am

    Yikes. I keep thinking I’ve heard it all. I’m always wrong.
    What a concept!
    P.S. LOVE your questions! 🙂

  9. May 15, 2015 at 11:17 am

    My signature scent is onions and hot dogs. Will that work?

    • May 15, 2015 at 1:12 pm

      Forrest, you just crack me up! And gross me out. Let’s not forget that part.

  10. Bill Spencer
    May 15, 2015 at 10:39 am

    My wife wants one, but I told her, “Over my dead body!”
    As for the music, how about Rod Stewart singing, “If ya think I’m sexy and ya want my ashes . . . “

    • May 15, 2015 at 1:16 pm

      Be careful what you say Bill. This sounds like a dangerous product to me!

  11. May 15, 2015 at 8:35 am

    Why not just use Cynthia Plaster Caster’s method? That woman can have Jimi Hendrix, Keith Jagger, and anyone else she has molded – whenever she wants. No ashes involved! 😉

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