Name That Llama | HumorOutcasts

Name That Llama

February 28, 2015


The internet blew up this week as two llamas busted loose in Arizona. The full-on Llama Drama reached an almost OJ-Bronco-chase fever pitch complete with memes and near llama hysteria.

With so many people jumping on the llama bandwagon, I feel it necessary to point out that I have been a llama enthusiast since I saw Dr. Doolittle. The first one. You know…back in the day. That’s just how cool I am. I was into llamas before they were the animal du jour, okay? I even had one of those inflatable pool toys with two llama heads ala Push-Me-Pull-You from the movie. Ask my husband; I’ve begged him for years to let me start an alpaca ranch.

Husband: Why the hell would we want to raise alpacas?

Me: Unlimited sweaters?

Husband: You don’t even knit.

Me: I’ll learn.

Husband: We’re not raising alpacas and we’re not getting a llama. You’re out of your mind.

He’s not wrong. I am kinda nuts. But before the dream died, I spent some time considering possible names for my possible long-necked, shaggy, hissy friends. And now that llamas have found a mass audience, I think we can all benefit from what I came up with. There’s something for every llama lover out there.

1. Dolly Llama (for country music fans)
2. Obama Llama (for Politicos)
3. Osama Bin Llama (because terrorism seems to be all the rage these days)
4. Llama Rama Ding Dong (for the 50s music lover in you)
5. Llama Del Rey (this llama got a lot of hits on YouTube and then bombed on SNL)
6. Lady Ma-Llama (llamas at your feet…)
7. Lorenzo Llamas (the Latin Lover llama)
8. Drama Llama (think James Lipton, but hairier.)
9. Pajama Llama (Victoria’s Secret runway llamas)
10. Ca-llama-ty Jane (the loose cannon of the pack)
11. Llama McDonald (fast Food maven. No clowning around)
12. Nation of Isllama (from whom all llamas descend)
13. Llama Turner (bombshell llama)
14. Dalai Llama (total enlightnment)
15. Bahama Llama (so exotic)

Photo by Tambako the jaguar / CC BY

Linda Roy

Linda Roy is a humorist, writer, musician living in New Jersey with her husband and two boys. Her blog elleroy was here is a mix of humor and music she refers to as "funny with a soundtrack". She is Managing Partner and Editor-in-Chief at the politics & pop culture website Lefty Pop and was named one of BlogHer's Voices of the Year for 2014. Her work has appeared at The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, In the Powder Room, Aiming Low, Funny Not Slutty, Erma Bombeck Writer's Workshop, Midlife Boulevard, Mamapedia, Sprocket Ink, The Weeklings, and BonBon Break. She's the female Larry David, and will criticize your parallel parking to prove it. When she's not snarking and kvetching, she's fronting the Indie/Americana band Jehova Waitresses.

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11 Responses to Name That Llama

  1. Kathy Minicozzi
    March 1, 2015 at 8:47 pm

    Hehe! Llamas are cute, but they do have a reputation for bad tempers, probably because they think we humans are damned nuisances and spitting at us is one way to get us out of their faces!! 😀

    My favorite is Llama Rama Ding Dong.

  2. March 1, 2015 at 1:30 pm

    Osama Bin Llama . . . snicker! Guffaw!

  3. February 28, 2015 at 8:15 pm

    Sorry to rain on your parade, but both llamas and alpacas spit. Yes. Spit. Take it from someone who knows.

  4. Bill Spencer
    February 28, 2015 at 7:36 pm

    Great list. I love it. I’d like to nominate one addition: Fernando Llamas (Lorenzo’s dad), Latin actor who looked marvelous, as Billy Crystal always said.

  5. February 28, 2015 at 6:44 pm

    A cute little fuzzy face AND a Superb clever/cute name?! My world just got larger . . .

  6. February 28, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    Thanks Deb!

  7. February 28, 2015 at 4:06 pm

    Llama Rama Ding Dong rocks, as do the rest of these.

    • February 28, 2015 at 4:24 pm

      Thanks Meg!

  8. February 28, 2015 at 4:04 pm

    I’m a BIG fan of Linda’s. Everything she writes is funny. And clever. I wonder if her Joisey edge has anything to do with it … No matter, keep ’em coming, Linda.

    • February 28, 2015 at 4:28 pm

      Beth, thank you for the lovely comment! You made my day. And I think you’re onto something about Joisey. It’s quite possible it’s had an effect on me. But foggedaboudit!

  9. Deb Martin-Webster
    February 28, 2015 at 3:56 pm

    HAHAHAHAHA! Llama Turner, priceless!

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