North Koreans Push Doomsday Insult Clock Closer to Midnight | HumorOutcasts

North Koreans Push Doomsday Insult Clock Closer to Midnight

January 26, 2015

Middle FingerName calling experts at the Pentagon are warning that North Korea’s continued verbal attacks on the US could escalate into a global conflict that hurts feelings all over the planet.

The North Korean’s recently hurled the epithet “loser” at President Obama, their most powerful verbal bomb to date. The missile was in response to Obama’s comment that North Korea “is the most cut-off nation on earth,” a relatively low impact slur.

Last month North Korea called Obama a “monkey” in retaliation for his support of the movie The Interview which they see as highly charged.

Analysts fear that the North Koreans are ratcheting up the war of words, and could ultimately launch a verbal weapon of mass destruction.

“We have proof from satellite images that the military regime has been building a middle finger insult for some years in violation of global name calling treaties,” said a Pentagon source who requested anonymity. “Our fear is that they have finally perfected the affront.”

According to the analyst, North Korea’s generals have been itching to hurl intercontinental abuse at the US since 2008, when they were humiliated by the failure of an offensive gesture. The gesture, a rude facial expression accompanied by an even ruder noise, fell completely flat, and the country was hit by a barrage of cruel jokes and unkind phrases from the international community.

Since then the regime has aimed a series of high-explosive smears at Americans, each one more powerful than the one before. These include the “hideous lantern jaw” slight lobbed at Secretary of State John Kerry, and the heat-seeking Presidential aspersions “dirty fellow” with “unclean blood” it detonated recently.

“They have never forgiven the world for being disgraced when their much-publicized middle finger weapon test failed miserably in 2008,” the analyst said. “Now they have a working middle finger pointed right at the US.”

Photo: Wikimedia

E. V. Erton

E. V. Erton’s career as a writer spans blogging, books and short stories, corporate communications, journalism, plays and comedy sketches, satirical essays, and TV documentaries. Possibly the best way to trace his career path is to dip a sugared-up fly with ADHD in ink, and let the insect wander around a blank sheet of paper. Comedy has long been a passion. A book of short stories and a play about George Washington crossing the River Delaware are almost ready to attract the first rejections. He would love to get involved in another comedy production and write for The Onion. He lives in Pennsylvania with his wife, two kids, and a dog called Spike who should be named Obnoxious.

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3 Responses to North Koreans Push Doomsday Insult Clock Closer to Midnight

  1. January 27, 2015 at 6:50 pm

    Too funny EV. Yes things are getting more serious. Do you think they’ll ratchet up to “Yo momma’s so…” Comments soon.

  2. Kathy Minicozzi
    January 27, 2015 at 3:04 pm

    I could probably get a few people to moon them.

  3. January 26, 2015 at 7:04 pm

    I am willing to do my patriotic duty by grabbing my crotch in their general direction.

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