I know what you want: You want to know what other people have to say about my book Slightly Off the Mark: The Unpublished Columns. And who can blame you?
What, you don’t want that? You want … brownies? Well, okay, go get a snack and then come back. Meanwhile, I had four reviews that can be found on Goodreads.
By Federal statute Goodreads can only list books that are good reads, as determined through a review by the Mount Airy, North Carolina, Police Department. Writers who violate this statute can be thrown into a weekend drunk tank with Otis, a long-term convict rumored to have both body odor and severe halitosis. These reviews can, then, be viewed with a high degree of accuracy.
One is by author DM Yates, who’s more than just a trophy wife. She compares me to Mark Twain, despite the fact that I never piloted a riverboat, never smoked a cigar, and look terrible in white. We’re both Marked, though.
Another was by Kay Kauffman, who has a signed affidavit that we’re related by neither blood nor bank account. Kay insists the book is chock full of laughs, as opposed to initial reports that she laughed ‘till she choked. A three day investigation by the Wapello County Sheriff Department in Ottumwa, Iowa has confirmed this.
The other two reviews are by Barry Parham, who himself is a humor writer and thus should know better, and Joleen Naylor, whose horror stories about vampires make her an expert on politics. Exhibit one: