Paying Up

I attended a Catholic church as a kid. Halfway through mass a man would stop at the end of the pew and push a long-handled wicker basket down the row, seeking donations. One time my dad pulled out his wallet and started looking for the fiver he usually donated. But he only had a $20 bill. Dad grimaced slightly and dropped the twenty in the basket.

I thought of that recently after reading about a spiritual guru in India. The guy is being investigated by authorities because he allegedly ordered his followers to get castrated, claiming this would bring them closer to God.

And you thought tithing was rough.

I always thought that the priests in my church wore funny robes. But those were nothing compared to how the guru dresses:

When your spiritual leader’s fashion motif is Sixties Psychedelic Meets Championship Wrestling, it’s a hint that something might be awry.

But it’s always good to respect the religious beliefs of others. One should strive to understand their reasoning. So I’ve tried to come up with scenarios where the guru’s beliefs make sense. I can only find one:

1) God is actually Lorena Bobbitt.

I wish Dad were alive so I could send this to him. He’d quickly realize that twenty bucks was nothing as a price for getting closer to God.