The Big Takeaway From Last Night’s GOP Debate


Most of you probably didn’t watch last night’s GOP debate in Las Vegas. Instead, you probably watched another TV show exhibiting less fear and paranoia, like Doomsday Preppers. So I’m here to fill you in on what you missed.

Not much. It was your standard event with lots of shouting and interrupting. However, there was this one highly unusual exchange among the presidential hopefuls:

Trump: “I think Santa should be required to get a visa. He flies over American airspace, yet we really know very little about him. He could be a terrorist!”

Cruz: “He couldn’t be a terrorist, he’s white!”

Rubio: “Oh c’mon, yes he could. He’s got that big beard. All those terrorists have beards!”

Cruz: “But the beard is white!”

Trump: “Duh! You can die your hair. I’m actually a red-head!”

Carson: “This all makes no sense. It’s irrelevant. How is forcing Santa to get a credit card going to change anything?”

At this point the shouting stopped and everyone stared at Carson. He quickly changed the subject by mentioning the recent news that the GOP is planning for the possibility of a brokered convention. And then Carson bellowed, “I for one am not willing to turn our convention over to a bunch of Wall Street stockbrokers!”

Yes, it was another informative and exciting night.

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