Conversation You Wish You Never Had

In my small town, there are three local hubs where people congregate to gossip (besides bars and stripper joints): the post office, the Dollar Store and the gas station. Like a herd, they move from one location to another, depending upon closing hours.

This evening, I first went to the post office, then the Dollar Store and finally the gas station to pick up some club soda. Inside, I bumped into a man who I’ve known for a few years, a very nice man. We chitchatted for a few until we tired of exchanging details of our current medical problems. We had established several years earlier that we both have a famous neuro-opthalmologist as our doctor.

“Once you hit 60, it all starts to fall apart,” I said.

“Oh, I surpassed that a long time ago,” he said.

“May I ask?”

“Sure, I’m turning 78.”

“Wow! You look terrific!” I said and I meant it. He does. He’s still very handsome with all his hair, teeth and fingers. And, he’s in great shape despite his medical issues.

“Well, you know you’re getting old when you spend all night trying to do the thing that you used to do all night,” he said.

He should’ve left it at “Thanks.”