Earth Report


Beeplob the alien deftly landed his silver ship on home planet.

His “Earth” report was five minutes overdue. Thankfully, his Powerpoint presentation was up and running.

Dear Leader: Welcome home, son. What say you about Earth?

Beeplob: I visited a place called America.

Dear Leader: The council has heard of this place. The leader of the free world resides there. They’ve split the atom, weapons of mass destruction, ever-increasing technology. A formidable civilization, indeed. What say you of their progress?

Beeplob: Washrooms.

Dear Leader: Come again?

Beeplob: The issue of the day is who can use which washroom, when.

Dear Leader: Are you shitting us? Do not shit the council.

Beeplob: No, your alieness. Groups of humans are shitting themselves. Over gender confusion and where to poo and pee.

Dear Leader: Wait. Do you mean to tell us they still have two genders?

Beeplob: Yes.

Dear Leader: Don’t they know one gender makes clothes shopping so much easier?

Beeplob: They just aren’t there yet, your alieness.

Laughter spreads among the council.

Dear Leader: It’s decided! We’re pushing up the invasion date. This will be a cake walk. Oh, and don’t forget to go before we leave. It’s a long trip.

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4 thoughts on “Earth Report”

  1. I guess having only one gender would solve some problems, but it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun.

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