Eight Types Of People Who Annoy Me

anger-18615_1920The best thing about the human race is our individuality. The world would be a dull place indeed if we all dressed the same, talked the same, and shared identical opinions on everything from ice cream flavors to presidential candidates. Our uniqueness is what makes us interesting.

While I respect individuality, there are also certain types of people who annoy the hell out of me. Their “uniqueness” doesn’t jive with my own personality flaws (which include impatience, irritability, and a short attention span), and they bring out the worst in me. They make me feel stabby, which is never good for someone who is going through menopause.

If you fit into one of these categories, stay far, far away from me. Or better yet, hide your forks.

THE MOTORMOUTH: This is the person who never knows when to stop talking. There’s a tiny motor attached to their mouth and it’s set on warp speed. Their incessant chatter triggers an instant headache while I’m trying to process the minute details of a story they’re eager to share. I’m not interested in hearing “101 fun facts” about your new turbo vacuum. Nor do I need to know the name of every dairy cow that contributed to the chunks of imported cheese behind the deli counter.

INDECISIVE PEOPLE: I refer to these people as “wafflers.” They can’t make up their mind about ANYTHING. Ever go out to dinner with these people? If the restaurant has an extensive menu, you might as well bring a sleeping bag because you’ll be camping under the table for days.

A waffler will agonize for hours over the abundance of food choices. Fried calamari or beef sliders?  It’s impossible for these people to make it through a four-course meal because the restaurant’s kitchen closes at midnight. For the love of all that is holy, pick the damn calamari and call it a night.

BRAGGARTS: Whenever you share a personal victory, these people like to pipe in about something BETTER that happened to them. They could care less about your trip to Wally World last summer because they were busy partying it up in Monaco. And even though you’re proud of the 5K race you ran last weekend, the Braggart is quick to remind you that they ran a 10K race in 102 degrees… uphill. Both ways.

NEGATIVE PEOPLE: No matter how much positivity you try to send out into the universe, negative people will find something wrong with the very things that make you the happiest.

“I just got a promotion at work!”

“Say goodbye to your social life because you’ll probably have to work nights and weekends from now on.”

“I just bought a new car!”

“I heard there was a recall on that model.”

Carry an umbrella when you’re around these people, because they will always delight in raining on your parade.

THE CHRONIC COMPLAINER: This person is impossible to please. Nothing is good enough, and fault can be found in just about everything. Their boss is a jerk, their spouse is a slob, their kids are unappreciative, their rent is too high and they have mysterious illnesses that keep them from enjoying pretty much everything in life. Whatever you do, NEVER ask a chronic complainer how their day is going. An ear full of wax is preferable to an earful of misery, which is what these people will give you.

KNOW-IT-ALLS:  My biggest pet peeve is with people who think they know EVERYTHING. Heck, they don’t even mind telling me how to run my life. If I ask for your advice, great. Give it to me, and chances are I might actually follow it. But when someone steps into my personal territory and tells me how to do something that I feel I have already accomplished on my own, the claws come out. Unless you’ve discovered a more efficient way to plunge a toilet without splash-back from a fecal bomb, then please keep your opinions to yourself until I ask for your advice.

UNRELIABLE PEOPLE: Don’t promise me that you’re going to do something…..and then bail on me. Don’t change plans at the last minute, either—this messes with my OCD. If we have plans to go to dinner at 6:30 and you don’t show up until 7:15, I might have to start the party without you. Which means I might be a hot mess by the time you arrive.

OVER-THE-TOP INDEPENDENT SALES ENTHUSIASTS: I get that you have a job to do, but please stop pressuring me to buy your nail sticker designs, powdered shakes, knock-off designer bags, miracle skincare products, prepackaged diet food or emoticon-shaped jewelry. If I win the lottery and can afford all of these products, I’ll let you know. Otherwise, back off…..unless you’re selling baked goods. I’m always ready to shell out money for a good cupcake.

What type of people annoy you? Oh wait, let me guess…..people who make lists of the people who annoy them the most.



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24 thoughts on “Eight Types Of People Who Annoy Me”

  1. I totally concur with 7 of your items. However, I do suffer indecision at times – my family call it ‘dithering’ or ‘mincing’.

    An additional one for me would be a TAMP – a ‘talk aloud model parent’. The sort you hear in public places loudly emitting a running commentary of his/her conversation with the child, primarily to demonstrate to others what a wonderful parent he/she is. I could slap them!

  2. I absolutely know some of these people on your list. Wait a minute…I probably AM at least one of these people on your list. Or maybe I’m not. I don’t know, I can’t decide.

  3. Can’t stand cheery folks in the morning. The ones that are perky like Care Bears. That should be illegal at 5am.

      1. Yeah. You know who I’m talking about. People that are so alert without natural or artificial stimulants you swear they are either on really good cocaine or have the ability to produce caffeine nanoids in their bloodstream to make them think they too like cows can jump over the moon.

        These are the types of people the forefathers of the US thought of when they wrote the 2nd Amendment.

  4. You forgot to mention people who are chronically cheerful. I call that the Rose Nylund Complex. This is not the kind of person you want to see the first thing in the morning!

    1. I have a great idea for a sitcom character:

      Maribel, an indecisive, negative chatterbox who is always bragging and complaining, who thinks she knows everything and has a habit of canceling plans at the last minute. Maribel sells Avon, and she such a hard-sell salesperson that people buy from her just to get her to shut up.

      What do you think? 😉

  5. I loved these descriptions. You captured each personality type perfectly. I believe I have been guilty of some of these – but only for a moment — when I was younger, of course. One that I would like to add to the list is SLOW PEOPLE. They drive me crazy and kinda fall in the indecisive group but they talk slow, move slow, think slow and have more time than brains.

  6. Ah, you did that with such class and style, Marcia! I would have the same list, but couldn’t have written it as effectively as you! But. Ahem. I recognized myself in one of these–I was indecisive yesterday at a restaurant. I’m not normally, but…. LOL Enjoyed the read, girl!

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