Gap Widens for Couples With Political Differences

NEEDHAM FALLS, Mass.  Bob and Jennifer Markham are the target of good-natured joshing by friends for the attention they draw every four years in this western suburb of Boston.  “Bob’s the perennial Republican fiscal conservative gadfly in town–letters to the editor, the whole nine yards,” Jennifer says with a laugh and a toss of her strawberry-blonde hair, “while I’m immediate past chair of the Democratic town committee.”  As such, they find themselves the subject of “argue cute” articles in the local paper every election cycle, along with other couples whose political views differ.  The Markhams’ marriage survives, Bob says, because of their shared love of politics and mutual respect.  “When things get too heated we have a pitcher of martinis and enjoy the fruits of the marital bed,” he says, disguising the erotic content of his comment with a dour facial expression he might use at his job as a commercial construction estimator.

“Bob’s an idiot, but he’s my idiot.”

But this year, the Markhams say, is different, although not at their address.  “The election is tearing people apart,” Jennifer says, and Bob agrees.  “If you really want to see a couple at opposite ends of the spectrum, go over to the Fantolds on Circle Drive,” he says, and when this reporter later finds himself in the last-named couple’s living room, the differences between husband and wife are, as predicted, quite stark.  “I think it’s time for a woman president,” says Jill Fantold, who has overcome doubts about Hillary Clinton’s huge speaking fees from investment banks and questionable judgment in setting up a private email server in her home and will vote for the former Secretary of State.  “I think it will be wonderful for little girls to know they can grow up to be anything they want, except maybe nose tackle for the New England Patriots.”

But her husband Jeff, who hopes outspoken outsider Donald Trump is the Republican nominee, has a hard time concealing his contempt for his wife’s thinking.  “Jill has been a housewife for a long time, and doesn’t have experience in the real world,” he sniffs.  “Trump is the only candidate who’s willing to talk about the loss of American jobs to the Fourth World.”

I ask Jeff whether he has misspoken, since the up-by-his-bootstraps-and-his-father’s-real-estate-empire businessman has made immigration and the rise of China as a superpower his signature issues.  “That’s sleight-of-hand,” the head of a soap and shampoo distributor says, his voice dropping to a whisper.  “He can’t come right out and say it say it, but if you give a $1,000 to his campaign, you get daily secret updates on the shape-shifting mud lizards who control the world’s economy.”

Where, this reporter asks, can one gain access to the materials he’s referring to in order to verify his claims, and he responds with a snort.  “This is Needham for Christ sake–look out there,” he says, pointing towards the living room picture window where the broadcast tower of Boston’s Channel 5 is plainly visible.  “You can pull in the signals from here using nothing more than a coat hanger and a box of jujubes for resistors.”

It’s not just the right that has gone haywire however, says Ted Flynn, the chief of police who sometimes responds to noise complaints only to find a husband and wife arguing politics.  “Without wanting to violate anybody’s privacy or nothing like that, you might want to talk to the Kaplans over on Sunset Street,” he says, and the couple agrees to an impromptu interview after an introductory phone call.

Ben Kaplan and his wife Miriam are both professors at local colleges, and they agree that each other’s political positions are thoughtfully considered, if misguided.  “I’m voting Bernie Sanders, I think he’ll shake things up and make life better for people like us,” Ben says, without going into the difficulties any redistribution of wealth would encounter in a democracy where people who disagree with him are entitled to vote.  “What’s the point of voting for an establishment candidate when you’re not part of the establishment?” he asks rhetorically, prompting his wife to speak up.

Shape-shifting mud lizard (not shown actual size)

“Bernie Sanders is no socialist,” she snaps.  “Real socialists kill millions of people, like Stalin and Mao and Pol Pot and Hitler.”

Ben bristles at the last suggestion, but Miriam holds firm in her disdain for the Vermont senator.  “Nazi stands for National Socialist Worker’s Party,” she says.  “If Sanders was really a socialist, he would have invaded New Hampshire years ago.”