Help! I’m a Fat Person Trying to Get Out!

So here I am eighty-five pounds lighter, keeping it off for close to two years now. It took me twenty years to figure out how to do this, but I have figured it out. Along the way, I’ve learned a few things about myself and about fat people. You see, even though I’m almost at my goal weight, I’m still a fat person. I will always be a fat person. I could be underweight, and I’d still be a fat person. There are; therefore, skinny people who are fat people waiting to get out. That’s me.

No matter how thin I may get, I will always be out of control when it comes to chocolate. Chocolate for me is like a starter gun going off: ready, set, eat! I’ve established tons of great new habits now that I’m almost at my goal weight. I keep fresh produce in the house at all times. I never let myself get hungry, and I plan ahead when eating out. I’ve found lots of great recipes that are healthy and fit in with my new lifestyle. Some of these recipes are dessert recipes and call for chocolate chips as one of the ingredients. My past experience with chocolate chips is a rocky road ( pun completely intended). With all good intentions, I buy the ingredients for this oh, so healthy dessert. I mix up those ingredients including the quarter of a cup of chocolate chips. I bake the dessert. The dessert contains four servings. I eat all four. Since I’ve yet to find a store that sells bags of only a quarter cup of chocolate chips, I then look forward to returning to my pantry to finish off the rest of the bag. My fat person is trying to get back out. NOOOO! My solution: avoid all recipes that require chocolate chips as an ingredient.

One of the great things I learned while losing all the weight was that everything is ok in moderation. Moderation is the key. In keeping with my love of chocolate, this means that chocolate cannot forever be off limits to me. Notice that in the previous paragraph I did not say that I avoid eating chocolate or chocolate chips. I simply said that I avoid bringing an entire bag of them into my house. Another food I adore is chocolate chip cookies. Again with the chocolate chips. The good news is that I can easily purchase ready-made chocolate chip cookie dough. The bad news is that my skinny body starts eating the raw dough in the car on the way home. By the time the cookies actually hit the preheated oven, only half of them are left to cook.

In well less than twenty-four hours, the cooked one’s have vanished. My fat person is trying to get back out. NOOOO! My solution: buy the twelve pack of cookie dough instead of the log since I’m an idiot and have no self-control. While we’re on the topic of cookies, my skinny husband sees the cookies in the kitchen. Knowing that I am out of control when it comes to anything chocolate chip, he tells me to throw the remaining cookies out. He helps me by tossing them into the garbage can. But my fat person is trying to get back out. NOOOO!

My solution: Dig into the garbage can and eat them. This way they’ll be all gone and I can have a clean healthy slate for tomorrow. As a matter of fact, perhaps I should eat all the junk food I can possibly find in the house so that I can rid myself of all temptation for my clean healthy start for tomorrow because tomorrow that fat person inside me will be trying to get back out. My solution: Eat mindfully. Eat each little morsel of junk food aware of what I am doing. Eat slowly, savor the taste as it rolls around on my palate. After all, my mind knows that what goes in, must come out!

Three cheers for the human body’s elimination function. Without it, I’d be a fat person trying to get skinny.

This story was originally published at ZestNow.