Grandpa and Grandma aren’t out playing Pokemon Go, but that’s not because they can’t figure out a full-sized computer. No! They don’t need it because they started the “catch ‘em all” philosophy the minute they got diagnosed with osteoporosis!
The Crusade For The Forgotten Keys
Teens aimlessly walk around the streets in search of Pokemon, and so too, do seniors meander through their home on an adventure for keys. Their journey will take them under the table, into the deepest corners of the couch, past the computer, and beyond the patio. This trek will reveal ancient coupons, rare pill bottles, and mystical bingo cards. What an adventure!
Metal Detector Quests
Seniors don’t need a fancy-schmancy smartphone to find rare Pokemon because they peruse for buried antiques with a metal detector (the perfect past-time activity for antique humans). Team Mystic and Team Valor have nothing on the Team Beaches and Team Parking Lots in the chapter of the local Metal Detector/Bingo “gym.” Old fogies unite to walk, and talk, and stop, and walk, and stop to realize they’ve been walking the whole time with their metal detector off. Lost pennies, rusty hair pins, and random garbage offer a never-ending quest to “catch ‘em all” (partly because they’ve forgotten what they’re doing and where they’re going five minutes into their mission).
Swimming Pool Expeditions For Long-Lost ID Bracelets
Who needs to run around aimlessly in search of Pokemon when you could flail around on a floatie in pursuit of for gold hospital-inspired treasure and that Arnold Palmer that never actually made it out of the kitchen. Sloth-like snail paced movement is gloriously paired with the water. And thanks to being drenched with the gloriousness of chlorination, no one will know that seniors are sweating their tuckus off from their extensive swimming pool exercise routine of underwater clapping, pool-supported heel raises, and intense knee bends.
Neighborhood Gossip Patrol
Pokemon are lurking in homes and yards all over, but they’re not doing anything nearly as interesting as your neighbors. A blatant peer through livingroom curtains or a deliberate stop during a dog walk so the poodle can pee in your front lawn; they both offer instant access to information they don’t need (even though they couldn’t be convinced of it anyhow). Any twenty something that did this would get slapped with a restraining order, but seniors go undetected because neighbors just think they’ve lost their mind. So live it up Seniors! Smartphones can stay in the store, because senior living is Pokemon Go in real life!