Have you ever noticed that snoring doesn’t bother dogs? I don’t get it.
Last night my wife was sawing down an entire forest of highly valuable trees (Redwoods) with her nasal passages and Newman was lost in his Little House on the Prairie quiet country scene. Meanwhile, huge chunks of bark were filling my quivering eyelids.
I was not on the Prairie. It was more reminiscent of Tarantino, The Inglorious Snorers or Snorer Unchained.
Why can’t Newman just slap her in the face so she’ll turn over? Saves me from doing it. When I do that I get in big trouble. Sleeping in the garage kind of trouble.
For Newman, the garage is a great find, like discovering that real gem on Dog House Hunters International. “It took a bit of time, but I’ve really made this place my own. Like the squirrel lamp?”
There’s something unique about the snore sound wave. It cuts deep into the ear canal and beats the ear drum, first in a steady, junglesque rhythm and then, as the sleeper stops breathing, it turns into a Buddy Rich solo.
I should write more but I’m really tired. And I’m dying of snoredom.
PS: I could not find a photo of a man trying to stop a woman from snoring. That will all change with Trump.