The Upside of Trump

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I see a very strong upside to Mr. Trump as POTUS.

(If you disagree with this bold statement, please address all death threats to my twin brother living on the Canary Islands.)

The fundamental reason for Mr. Trump’s rise is this: He is the candidate that “tells it like it is!”

Every since I popped out of the womb, some time around the Big Bang, people have complained about politicians, and have been clamouring for a politician that, finally, “tells it like it is.”

Well, now we have that politician who, like the peacock, has his “like it is” feathers in full bloom.

So, what’s the upside? Mr. Trump’s feathers, like the peacock’s, are all show and nothing else. Soon his feathers will get clipped, and he’ll be just another naked old bird.

In other words, Mr. Trump will fail badly, despite the nice feathers, and we can finally dispense with this notion that the “tells it like it is” candidate has all the answers.

You see, there is no such thing as “tells it like it is.” That’s because there is no singular “is”. Mr. Trump’s “is”, as in this “is” how things are, is one of a billion odd “is’s” in this nutty world.

The proverbial “is” never was. Everyone has their own “isness”. Yours is different from mine. And your “isness” is none of my “isness”. Also, there’s no “isness” like show “isness”.

With all these “is’s” existing, here is the average political conversation on what “is”: Yes it is. No it is not. Yes it is. No it is not. Yes it is…

Your “tells it like it is” might include excluding all muslims. My “tells it like it is” might include excluding mental patients from buying guns at the gas station.

I think the great philosopher Bill Clinton was on to something when he said, during his impeachment trial, “It depends upon what the meaning of “is” is.” That clears things up nicely, doesn’t it? His version of “is” allowed him to say yes to the dress, and no to the truth.

Not convinced? Consider this dark truth. When you type the word “IS” twice and forget the space in between, look what you get: ISIS. Mr. Trump will bomb the shit out of you for that.

There is only one source of absolute “is” in the world, and that’s physics. When you jump off a building, the pavement you splatter on “tells it like it is”. Your views on pavement matter not a bit.

The rest of the world, all the “is’s” out there, are opinion – grey, muddled, full of crap.

Mr. Trump may seem like the wonderful wizard of “is”, but keep in mind that the wizard never got Dorothy back home. The good witch helped her get there. (A nod to Hillary Clinton, perhaps?)

Mr. Trump will not get his beautiful wall built. He’ll be but a blip in “istory”. Soon enough his “is” will be a distant “was”.

Believe me. I’m the guy that “tells it like it is.”

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