Today I am grateful for Stormy the cow. She is the Houdini of bovines, who gives the phrase, “How now, brown cow,” new meaning. I’ll tell you how. Any way she wants.
Stormy is part of a live nativity scene in Center City Philadelphia, except she must have been unhappy with her digs because she escaped. Either that or her contract needs adjusting. Stormy didn’t just escape and wander the neighborhood, she padded her little hoofies down to I-95, one of the busiest highways on the east coast.
She did not get hit by a car, so take a breath! Police “corralled” her with their cars and then called in an expert, ie a farmer, to help lasso her and take her back to her citified gig. I’m glad they called in the farmer because I’m here to tell you that I tried to catch a calf who was wandering on a road one time and my dogs leash was not adequate! And I have witnesses!
So they get sweet Stormy back to her nativity pen with all the other animals and all is well. But wait for it. “Where’s Stormy?” someone asks. No one knows. She’s gone again. I’m telling you this girl wants better hay than you’re giving her or she’s heard about the great coffee at Wawa and wants to go get some for herself, “hold the milk, I have my own!”
Do they find her on the highway? Nope? Is she sitting at a table at Dunkin Donuts enjoying a glazed with sprinkles? Nope, not there, either. Ol’ Stormy has wandered into a multi-level parking garage. They find her on the fourth floor. Guess she just wanted to enjoy the view.
The video of her standing with a bevy of keepers at the garage gate, waiting for it to open is a classic. I don’t know if she took a ticket, but someone’s paying, that’s for sure. And it isn’t gonna be Stormy! One of the camera people pulled the short stick and had to follow behind her with his camera rolling. When you’re the last “cow” the view is always the same. She’s miffed that he got her bad side and feels she has had enough publicity, so she declined my offer to use her picture. I scrounged a cartoon out of respect for bovine vanity.
FYI-No cows were injured in the telling of this story, but a few law enforcement, parking garage and farmer egos took a hit. C’mon Stormy. . .escape one more time! Find a Chik-Filet and settle in. You made my day, girlfriend!