This is NOT CNN

In light of Trump’s team inventing terrorist attacks that never happened, and the media never covering terrorists attacks that actually happened, CNN is splitting the difference.

CNN, THE voice in fake news, is starting a half-sister station, called NCNN.

NCNN (Not CNN) will feature in-depth coverage of events that DID NOT happen.

NCNN will specialize in events that never occurred, events that are not currently occurring, and events that could not possibly occur.

Some stories will reach back in time – The attack on Pearl Harbour, an effort by Japan to bomb the US market with cheap sushi and selfie sticks. America prevailed in World Trade War II. (live coverage)

Woodstock – A seminal sixties event where people gathered on a farm to raise and eat Trump steak.

Kent State Riots – Students demanded that they be educated at Trump University. Some were shot with alternative bullets.

Exciting future non-events will be also covered, like the Toronto Maple Leafs not winning the Stanley Cup.

NCNN will debut with the second coming of Jesus – it hasn’t happened, it definitely isn’t happening now, and it never will happen.

(cue music and James Earl Jones)

This is NOT CNN.

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