Don’t Throw Out Those Thanksgiving Leftovers!

Tired of staring at lumps of starch in your refrigerator left over from Thanksgiving dinner? Don’t throw them away! Here are six great recipes that will turn Turkey Day rejects into December treats!

Stuffing Puppies: Roll stuffing into 3″ balls, sprinkle with flour and paprika. Heat oil in skillet and brown. Place in freezer until solid. Remove at Christmas time and hurl at carollers.

Get off my property!


Turkey Hokey Pokey: This “comfort food” is great and easy to make! Melt 1/4 cup butter, add 1/2 cup flour and whisk. Add 1/4 cup sherry, 1 cup cream, 2 2/3 cup chicken broth, 1 cup grated Parmesan cheese, 3 cup chopped turkey and 1/2 lb. mushrooms-salt and pepper to taste. Place 10 oz. cooked spaghetti in baking dish and top with mixture. Put your right foot in, take your right foot out. Bake at 325 degrees for 30 minutes.

“Tastes kinda gritty to me.”


Mashed Potato Mortar: Add 1 cup gypsum, 1 cup sand and a dash of allspice to two quarts leftover mashed potatoes. Using a trowel, spread between gaps in exterior brick walls and allow to dry. Garnish with parsley.

Turkey Piazza: Strip dark meat from drumsticks and thighs. Spread with linseed oil and flatten with a meat mallet. Spread generously over patio. Flatten with a sod roller and coat with extra virgin olive oil. Children on “boogie boards” should wear helmets while sliding across the finished surface.

Cranberry Shells: Add two packages Knox’s Unflavored Gelatin to cranberry sauce and stuff back into cans. When mixture congeals, stuff down barrel of howitzer and fire. Caution: May be considered a violation of Geneva Convention in some upscale neighborhoods.

“Cranberries incoming!”


Turkey Terza Rima: Add mayonnaise to turkey scraps. Mold mixture into three-line stanzas using a progressive rhyme scheme such as a-b-a, b-c-b, etc. Submit to high-toned literary quarterly along with a self-addressed, stamped envelope and wait. When rejection letter is received, launch cranberry shells and stuffing puppies at editor. Repeat until satisfied.

Available in Kindle format on as part of the collection “Take My Advice–I Wasn’t Using it Anyway.”

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