Peeps

Today I am grateful for Peeps.  Not the folks I count on as in, “I need my peeps around me cuz they have my back.”  Nope these are the cavity-busting, sugar-coma causing, unique Peeps that only show up at Easter time.

I’m not that nuts about marshmallow alone.  If it’s chard over a bonfire it’s better and if you slap it on a chocolate bar on top of a graham cracker it’s the best.  But alone, like a Peep, it’s just not my drug of choice.

Just because I don’t like to eat them doesn’t mean I don’t want to play with them.  You can stretch a Peep until it’s very loooonnnggg.  And if you set them on a table and smash them with your fist the yellow ones look like a road-kill egg.  When we were kids I used to manipulate them like clay that bounced back. . .because Peeps almost always bounce back unless you destroy them by tearing off their beak, tail, or ears, depending on if it’s a traditional Peep chick or a modern Peep bunny.

I have friends who like them best when they get stale.  Not me.  I like to poke them when their soft, with elasticity and they spring back, just like when I poke my thigh.  Maybe that’s why I like them.  We are related.  I am a giant Peep without the sugar coating.  Okay, maybe with the sugar coating, but only after jelly donuts.

I hate that so many holidays wrap themselves around delicious, tasty/nasty, sweets.  I don’t care for marshmallow unless it’s melted so I figure I’m home safe this season.  Then someone on Facebook posts a recipe for S’mores made in a pan, with Peeps!  You dip, yes DIP the graham crackers in the chocolate and melted monsters!  I’m doomed.  Doomed, I tell you!

So if I don’t care for them that much, then why is the box I bought (for the grandchildren, yup, for them, the little ones, that’s who it’s for, so there) screaming at me from the kitchen?  If they keep it up I’m putting them under the wheels of my car. . .box and all.  Vroom!  Vroom!  Die!  Then I’ll make fun of their little miss-placed, smooshed eyeballs.  Bet those suckers couldn’t recover from that!  Shut up in there!!!  I’m trying to write here!

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