It is time for an ode to that great Olympic spokesman and international meddller for planetary unity and peace, Russian Premier Vladimir Putin.
This is the very same Vlad The Impaler who is also a political schemer, liar and multi-national underground terrorist.
Sing to the tune of the famous theatrical show tune Puttin’ On The Ritz:
If you’re buddy Yanukovych is screwed and don’t know what to do
what to loot, who to shoot,
and Ukraine is falling to bits,
Putin on the Blitz
If Ukraine is pulling away when they should stay
You can’t let them sway or the world will think you’re gay
don’t call it quits
Putin on the Blitz
Can’t let them get away, they keep Europe at bay
No other way but start a fray
The West will howl
when you make your prowl
but the only panacea
is to take over the Crimea
let them have their fits
Putin on the Blitz
And when you succeed and have the deed
to your new land in your hand
you say OK or go for more
just use your wits
Putin on the Blitz
Stay underground and soon you’ve found
You’re getting the upper hand on all their land
Keep it cool and them you’ll fool
when on Ukraine you get your mitts
Putin on the Blitz