The New Apolstered Roll-over Bar | HumorOutcasts

The New Apolstered Roll-over Bar

March 1, 2018

Wow!!!  People moving large pieces of furniture on undersized cars are getting just as popular as Peter Parkers on our blog.

But is this REALLY what it APPEARS to be?  We sent our Jagoff Staff to go find this car.  As it turns out, this is NOT someone trying to move a couch by strapping it to the top of a Jeep.

You see, the Jeep brand usually attracts a fit-and-active customer base by offering special equipment like Towing Packages and MOPAR Premium Chrome Packages.  But now, Jeep marketing gurus want to reach out to more of the X-Box 360 “couch potato” customer base so this is the new “Love Seat Package.”

It includes 4 pillows (2 of them just for show and 2 of them you can throw on the floor WITHOUT your mother yelling at you), and a self-sucking-cleaning device that cleans your food crumbs from underneath the cushions so you don’t find what equates to an extra large bucket of chips, pretzel rods and cheese curls every other month!  There is actually a special clear-plastic-cushion-cover option in case you want to impress your Italian grandmother.

Insert fast-talking man’s voice saying:

Lease a 2012 JEEP WRANGLER SPORT with Love Seat Package for $299 per month for 39 months. Total due at signing: $2,499. Security deposit included.

Haaaa ok.. not really.

Hey Wrangler Will, when your parents find out that you stool their love seat just to show the concert chics that you understand the Kenny Chesney “Big Blue Chair” idea, they’re gonna be ticked.  Especially if you return it and THEN find out there’s some scary-drunk-tailgating dude sleeping under the cushions along with the with the chips, pretzel rod and cheese curl CRUMBS, Ya Jagoff!!


John Chamberlin

I write about Jagoffs, i.e. stupid politicians, awful sports officials, dumb criminals, bad drivers, ignorant people and on and on. BTW, Jagoff is NOT a swear word. It can be just as confusing as their, there and they're. Sometimes it's actually used as a term of endearment. My Pittsburgh blog is Twitter is @YaJagoff.

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One Response to The New Apolstered Roll-over Bar

  1. March 2, 2018 at 3:40 am

    I would think that if you drove fast enough, the chips, pretzel rods and cheese curls would become the problem of the guy driving behind you. Maybe the drunk dude is holding them down, though.

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