Does anyone remember the Panera bread bowls? How amazing they were when filled with soup? How the bowl to soup ratio was always perfect?
If you don’t you missed out and your life sucks.
That said; I boycotted Panera successfully for eight years…. The reason for the boycott was one of principle. They decided to fuck with the ratio. On multiple occasions they tried to push a side of bread on me when ordering a bread bowl.
My arguments were simple ones but unanswerable…. “Why do I need bread when the vessel that my soup is being served in is made of bread?” “Why do I need to add a hunk of dry, tough bread to the perfect polynomial of elements?” “Why are you pushing unnecessary carbs?!”
After multiple visits and consist pressure to add extra bread, I quit going. Eight years with no Panera. The bread bowl has since left for greener pastures. From what I can only assume is similar like minded customers saying, “Fuck the side of bread!!! The bowl is bread!!!”
I just recently returned to Panera as a customer.
Sweet Jewish Jesus how I had missed the quick and convenient freshness.
Until today… I ordered a Roasted Turkey and Avo BLT…. Only to have the deadlocked 40 year old lady ask, “Would you like a side of bread with that?”
“Why the hell, would I need a side of bread with a sandwich!? Do your sandwiches not come with bread? Am I assembling the sandwich myself?! Or do you not understand what the sandwich I just ordered consists of?! It has TWO large pieces of bread that perfectly encompass the ingredients of meat, cheese and veg. Why the FUCK do I need a side of bread?!?!?!”
All I’m asking is why?
Why?
Why?!?!
Peace…..