Everything is brokn.

Even the word “brokn” in this article is brokn.

We’re told this all the time, like a brokn record.

Here’s a list of all the things brokn in this world.

• everything

Health care, politics, education, immigration, the environment, the tax code, the penal code, the Code of Hammurabi, the voting system, the water supply, the UN, capitalism, the geopolitical system, the system itself, all brokn.

Also, my personal hair care system just broke. Last night my memory foam mattress broke. Totally forgot who I was.

I’m sick and tired of people saying everything is brokn.

I prefer a more positive and accurate diagnosis, like “everything is crappy to begin with.”

Health care? Crappy.

It’s damn tragic that the guy sitting in emergency with a nail gun in his larynx dies because doctors are too busy or too greedy to treat him. That’s not brokn. That’s the system working. Sorry, but it ain’t brokn.

Donald Trump says immigration is brokn. Nope. Neither is his hair.

Not brokn. I hate to sound like that brokn record. But nothing is brokn.

There are two problems with declaring everything brokn.

First of all, it implies that everything worked sometime in the past. Here’s a quick look at our glorious past.

How about Vietnam? Watergate? Kent State?

The plague and vague political promises.

The Crusades, the Ice Capades, AIDS. All shitty. All business as usual.

Everything is going to crap. But nothing is brokn. Important distinction.

Secondly, when we say something is brokn, we really mean it isn’t working the way we’d like it to.

That ain’t brokn. Things are crappy, but they ain’t brokn.

Brokn means brokn. If I say my car’s brokn, I can’t drive it. It doesn’t work as a car.

If I say I have a shitty car, the car works, but you would rather walk the 100 miles to work than hitch a ride.

Get it? Things aren’t brokn, they’re just crappy.

The system isn’t brokn, it’s just crappy. Oh, and there’s no system anyway. The system is no system. It’s just a bunch of crappy things crowded together at the same time.

When the primordial atom exploded into the Big Bang, it didn’t break. It started working. It’s crappy, I know, but it works.

And the word brokn? Not brokn. Just crappy typing.

The takeaway.

Nothing is brokn.

Everything is crappy.

More or less.

Now go out there and break a leg.

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