One Thing We’re Not Giving Up!

Today I am grateful for one thing we’re not giving up.  That’s a bundle, isn’t it?  Look, as you start aging you wind up giving up a lot of stuff you had no intention of giving up.

Like Himself, who gave up vegetables.  He sees it as “saving” the veggies.  Sigh.  He still bemoans the fact that he did not buy a T-shirt that said, “I did not claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat broccoli”.  So he gave it up.  And all of its friends, like lettuce, tomatoes, beans, carrots, celery, cabbage.  See how he sacrifices?

We gave up paychecks when we retired and disposable income not long after that.  Boo-Hoo for us. . .and about a billion other folks in the same precarious, often leaky boat.  My asthma has caused me to be aware of allergies and bad air quality, giving up some activities on bad days.  His gnarly fingers go every which-a-way, making doing magic a much bigger challenge than it used to be, not to mention just picking anything up from the table.  That’s his story and he’s sticking to it.

I’ve sacrificed longer, darker hair and perms, for short, white toothpicks on my head.  He’s lost eyesight, teeth and his hearing, but I haven’t lost a pound, yet I’ve found every single one that he’s lost.  I’ve got bionic knees and could probably get a package plan for cortisone injections at every joint in my body.  But I gotta stay outta the joints so I don’t.

My long-winded, shaggy-dog-story point is that I am not asking Himself to give his two-ply toilet paper.  People who come to our house are very happy because we go the extra mile on toilet paper.  A friends kids remark on it all the time.  There is often a cue line at our powder room door.

Costco loves us. For a long time I bought you-can-read-through-it-single-ply stuff, but one time they didn’t have any so I had to upgrade.  I can bring up any number of topics for discussion and get a minimal response from Himself.  But when I put that toilet paper on the roll he came out of the bathroom with a big smile on his face, asking, “What wonderful thing did I do to deserve two-ply toilet paper?”  I created a monster.  Now we can’t go back.

So how did I discover today’s topic?  There is an article circulating in social media about how awful toilet paper manufacturers treat the trees and how the forests are going away and how only the lowest of low-life-losers would possibly continue using the “good” toilet paper.  They want us to all call our toilet paper companies and insist they change their no-good ways.  I’d love to call, but I’m not.  There are simply too many battles these days and I’m choosing to ignore this one.  Sorry.  I’m just not that good of a person and I know I’m already stretched to my max on worrying about crap.  And that list is sure to grow as the day goes on.

I will recycle all items possible, including regular paper, boxes, plastic, glass, etc.  I will encourage the idiots running our country to get real about global warming, get rid of fossil fuels and I’ll conserve water by allowing my plants to die.

But, hypocrite that I am, keep your bloody mitts off of our two-ply toilet paper.  That’s where I draw the line.  That is the one thing we are NOT giving up.  Come on over and use the bathroom.  Then you’ll know why!